I’m a bad American.
I vote, pay taxes and always turn on C-SPAN whenever Congress is debating something important or I need to hide that “Hot in Cleveland” marathon I’ve been watching.
But that’s still not enough to prove my patriotic bona fides, apparently. The problem: I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Ice Cream Lovers party.
Simply put, the stuff tastes cold and icky to me. Yet that pretty much equates to treasonous talk here in the good old U.S. of A., where you’d think the earliest flags had 13 stripes (for the original Colonies) and 31 stars (for the number of flavors at Ye Olde Baskin-Robbins). By refusing to wrap myself in the red, white and Blue Bell at block parties and Fourth of July barbecues, it’s like I’m spitting in the face of our revered Founding Fathers.
Not Washington and Jefferson.
Ben & Jerry.
Enter, in the nick of time, Burger King’s new Bacon Sundae. Described by a company spokeswoman as “a twist on an American classic” — or, as I like to think of it, “What Would Elvis Eat?” — the sundae consists of vanilla soft-serve ice cream, drizzled with chocolate fudge and caramel sauce and topped with “bacon crumbles” and a strip of thick-cut, hardwood smoked bacon that looks like it escaped from somebody’s healthier Double Whopper With Cheese.
“That combination does not sound too appealing to me,” laughed Page Love, an Atlanta registered dietitian and leading expert on sports nutrition. “Maybe for a pregnant woman ... .”
Only in America, folks. Literally. The Bacon Sundae is available only in the U.S. as part of Burger King’s “Summer BBQ” lineup of “quintessential summer items that bring friends and families together.” Hopefully not in the visitors lounge of a coronary care unit.
“For someone watching their weight or concerned about heart disease, it takes away a big chunk of their recommended daily needs,” Love said of the sundae’s 510 calories and 670 milligrams of sodium — about a fourth of what the average person should have of each in an entire day. Meanwhile, its 18 grams of total fat is “worth three” of the six to eight recommended daily fat servings. “You generally want a third or less [of that] from saturated fat,” Love continued. “This is about half.”
So in other words, it wouldn’t kill me to try it.
After all, bacon makes everything better: Wan frozen supermarket bagels. Wilted iceberg lettuce salads. That loathsome cousin’s wedding reception, once the bacon-wrapped scallops-bearing waiters finally appear.
Convinced the Bacon Sundae was just the ticket to make me warm to ice cream, I excitedly plunked down my $2.49 at a Burger King near Atlantic Station and tasted ...
... Ice cream. With a bit of bacon crunching satisfyingly on top and mingling with the chocolate/caramel “drizzle” in a sweet-and-salty fashion that was pleasant, if not very prolonged.
Mostly, though, I tasted ice cream. For three hours, which is how long it took me to finish the darned thing. But at least I finished it, like any really “good” American would.
Afterward, I still didn’t like ice cream. But I definitely felt patriotism burning in my veins.
Let’s hope it was that and not the saturated fat.
About the Author
