At the risk of sounding like half of America, I am thrilled we're close to Tim Tebow's grand return.
And at the risk of sounding like half of America, I am disgusted we're close to Tim Tebow's not-so-grand return.
In case you've been locked in a Brazilian gas-station bathroom, Tebow is working out for about two dozen Major League Baseball teams today, hoping to jump-start a new career. Scouts will gather somewhere in Los Angeles and the big event will be closed to the public.
ESPN is currently positioning spy satellites over every sandlot in Southern California hoping to get exclusive footage for its new network, ESPN-Tebow. Not that I have any room to make fun because I'm milking this for all it's worth.
Tebow haters should be more thrilled than anyone with his latest career move because chances are he'll be a complete flop.
I've always had a weakness for clean-living people who do nice things for humanity, so I hope Tebow turns into Roy Hobbs. I also believe he has as much chance of making the majors as Robert Redford. But what's the harm in trying?
So what if a team signs him to a minor league contract as a marketing ploy? God forbid if a few thousand people show up in Bluefield, W.Va., to watch a baseball team they otherwise didn't know existed.
And it's not as if he'd take up a valuable roster spot. Approximately 6,100 players are in the minor leagues. If Tebow knocks someone down to No. 6,101, that guy was not exactly destined to be the next Mike Trout.
The anti-Tebows wonder why a guy who hasn't done anything athletically in five years deserves more attention than Michael Phelps. As Clint Eastwood told Gene Hackman in Unforgiven, "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."
Then he shot him in the head.
Whether he deserves it or not, people care about Tebow. When word leaked a couple of weeks ago that he was following in Michael Jordan's baseball footsteps (though MJ was slightly more successful at his first sport), it became the third-biggest story in the universe.
(No. 1 was Ryan Lochte's crime saga. No. 2 was erased by Hillary Clinton, so I can't tell you what was but you can be assured it had nothing to do with Bill getting $1.5 million to give swimming lessons to an African dictator).
Is Tebow sincere? Is he deluded? Is he a Kardashian?
Let the debate rage.
As with his quixotic QB adventures, the only person who could get hurt here is Tebow. That's why everybody should cheer his return.
If you love to see him succeed, it could be the start of another great adventure. If you love to see him flop, he could be giving you just what you want.
