When Julie Thomason was just 19, she told her future husband, Charles Thomason, that her dream for them was to one day have a white house, a Jeep, and two-and-a-half kids — the “half” being a dog. By the time Julie was 31, Charles had made all her dreams come true. They had the house, the car, the dog, a daughter, and on Sept. 1, 2021, they welcomed a son. Tragically, just weeks later, on Sept. 29, Charles, away just one night on a work trip, was killed in a car accident.
Credit: Courtesy of Julie Thomason
Credit: Courtesy of Julie Thomason
“Two days before he passed, I asked him if he was nervous,” said Julie, of Atlanta, now 33. “No one gets everything they want, and it scared me that life was so good. Charles told me not to think like that, but I had an intuition that something bad was about to happen.”
Nothing could have prepared Julie for the shock of losing Charles. They met as students at Dalton High School in 2007 and had a black-tie wedding 10 years later. They were best friends who talked or texted throughout every day, bickered over silly things, and constantly joked around. Charles was charismatic and genuine and took his role as a husband and father seriously. When he died, Julie lost her closest confidante and was instantly thrust into the role of single parent.
She’d started an Instagram page about five months before Charles died. The account, which she named Spilled Milk Mamma, was intended to be a creative outlet. Julie longed to show a more accurate view of motherhood on Instagram — the good, the bad, and the ugly. She wanted a judgment-free space for moms where she could use her background in education to discuss things like sensory bins and motor skill hacks, while also sharing mistakes and humorous moments.
“I shared the news about Charles on my page a week after he passed,” said Julie. “My therapist said journaling would help. I had two babies and no time to get a pen and paper. I also didn’t want to feel alone, so I started sharing what I was going through on Instagram. I didn’t have any idea how much it would resonate with others.”
Credit: Courtesy of Julie Thomason
Credit: Courtesy of Julie Thomason
While Julie acknowledges that the Internet can be a negative place, her little spot brimmed with positivity from followers.
“My family was a little concerned about how much I shared, but I didn’t care,” said Julie. “I was in a grief fog, didn’t know up or down, and felt no need to tiptoe around the truth. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I never knew what trauma could do mentally, physically, emotionally. I’d share the truth and a community began to build around me.”
Encouraging messages flooded Julie’s comments and direct messages. Within months she went from having 500 followers to 20,000, then 80,000. Now she has more than 160,000. Companies have also taken interest in Julie and hired her for promotional partnerships. Currently, she has 15 brand partners, including Spanx.
“I was working in administration at an elementary school when Charles died,” said Julie. “I tried to go back, but I just wasn’t that person anymore. I couldn’t go back to my old life. Also, financially, I wasn’t making enough to support my family. Partnerships created an opportunity for me to provide for my family from home, which is exactly what I needed.”
Julie and Charles’ kids, Kinsey and Charlie, are 3 and 1½, respectively. Julie said the two, who both resemble their father, are thriving, happy children.
Credit: Tessa of Buck + Wally
Credit: Tessa of Buck + Wally
“We call ourselves ‘The Team’ and they are my whole world,” said Julie. “They were both given to me at the right time to keep me alive. I don’t think they’ll ever realize how they saved my life. I had to keep going for them. I didn’t have the luxury to stay in bed and cry all day, I had to get up for them. It was so hard, but they helped me heal.”
Last year Julie struggled greatly on Mother’s Day and for the weeks that followed. This year she has plans to spend the day with her brother’s family and friends.
“Father’s Day actually felt like Mother’s Day to me last year,” she said. “Charles’ friends and their kids showed up and celebrated me because now I’m like a dad, too. They brought food and gifts, and we spent a whole day outside playing with our kids. It was so special.”
Julie admits that her new life is exhausting in many ways, and she still struggles to wrap her head around every aspect, from her tragic loss to her burgeoning career, but she is determined to be positive and strong for her children. Good things are beginning to happen, and new dreams are being made.
“I feel like Charles is up there sprinkling good things down, still taking care of me.”
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