There is perhaps no phrase in parenting that strikes more fear in families than the “terrible twos.” From their rapidly developing emotions to their increasing desire for independence, toddlers can certainly be a handful.
Here are some quick tips on how you can connect with your toddler in a healthy, constructive way.
1-year-old to two-year-old toddlers
According to the Atlanta-Based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it is important to encourage your child to reach developmental milestones by shaping how they play, learn, speak, behave and move.
“During the second year, toddlers are moving around more, and are aware of themselves and their surroundings,” the CDC said. “Their desire to explore new objects and people also is increasing. During this stage, toddlers will show greater independence; begin to show defiant behavior; recognize themselves in pictures or a mirror; and imitate the behavior of others, especially adults and older children. Toddlers also should be able to recognize the names of familiar people and objects, form simple phrases and sentences, and follow simple instructions and directions.”
To help guide your toddler to these developmental milestones, the CDC offered a list of positive parenting tips.
- Read to your toddler daily.
- Ask you toddler to find objects for you or to name body parts and other objects.
- Play matching games with your toddler. These can include shape sorting games and other simple puzzles.
- Encourage them to explore and try new things.
- Speak with your toddler, and add to any words they start but struggle to finish.
- Encourage your child’s independence by letting them eat on their own (no matter how messy) and help dress themselves.
- Respond to desired behaviors from your toddler more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The CDC recommends only briefly using time outs for punishments, instead suggesting instead that you tell your toddler what they should do to change their behavior.
- Take trips to the park or go on a bus ride to encourage your toddler’s curiosity and their ability to recognize common objects outside of familiar surroundings.
Two-year-old to three-year-old toddlers
“Because of children’s growing desire to be independent, this stage is often called the ‘terrible twos,’ the CDC reported. “However, this can be an exciting time for parents and toddlers. Toddlers will experience huge thinking, learning, social, and emotional changes that will help them to explore their new world, and make sense of it. During this stage, toddlers should be able to follow two or three-step directions, sort objects by shape and color, imitate the actions of adults and playmates, and express a wide range of emotions.”
To help guide your toddler to these developmental milestones, the CDC offered a list of positive parenting tips.
- Make time to read to your toddler.
- Encourage your toddler to participate in pretend play.
- Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.
- Encourage your toddler to tell you their name and age.
- Teach your toddler simple songs, such as “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
- Give your toddler attention and praise for positive behavior, and limit their attention for defiant behavior. Teach your toddler acceptable ways to show their emotions.
Additional resources
For those looking to level up their parenting by taking a class, Yale’s “Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing” is a free online course that comes highly praised by the American Psychological Association.
“Our research shows that once parents begin implementing these changes, parent depression goes down, stress in the home goes down and the relationship among family members really improves,” former APA President Alan E. Kazdin, PhD, director of the Yale Parenting Center, told the American Psychological Association.
Parents can find the free course here.
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