On Valentine’s Day, an Atlanta woman who calls herself Reesa Teesa on TikTok began posting a series of videos on that platform.
In a string of 50 segments, 10 minutes each, she told the saga of meeting, dating, marrying and divorcing a man she describes as a narcissist and a pathological liar.
It didn’t take long for the series, “Who the (Expletive) Did I Marry,” to become the latest viral sensation, garnering 400 million views and 3.6 million followers. She is now represented by Creative Arts Agency. On Monday, Reesa Teesa appeared on “Good Morning America.” And she recently shared that her dream of visiting London and Paris is coming true, thanks to donations from sympathetic followers.
It also didn’t take long for her audience to uncover the identity of her ex-husband, who promptly posted a video response saying her recounting of events isn’t true.
Here is a condensed version of Reesa Teesa’s 500-minute story: She says she met a man, whom she code-named Legion, on Facebook’s dating app two weeks before the global pandemic resulted in orders to shelter in place. She worked in law enforcement. He presented himself as a corporate executive. The two decided to live together in her home. Before long, she got pregnant.
As 2020 unfolded, she says, she noticed red flags: Legion was unable to accompany her to the hospital during a miscarriage. He signed a cash offer on a $700,000 home for the two of them, but refused to provide proof of funds. He claimed to have purchased a luxury vehicle for her, but the car was never delivered. He promised a trip to Europe, but that never materialized.
In January 2021, they got married anyway.
Reesa Teesa later noticed that, when she needed some of his personal information for a job application she was filling out, he gave a Social Security number that was different from the one on their marriage license. According to her, she began digging and turned up more subterfuge – he wasn’t a corporate bigwig. He worked as a temporary forklift driver, had multiple ex-wives and a criminal record. About five months into the marriage, she filed for divorce.
“I am just a regular woman who thought she met the one … and I didn’t,” she concluded.
I watched the entire series in two days. It was fascinating. But, at the end of it, I couldn’t help wondering what would become of Reesa Teesa. What impact would all of this exposure have on her life from this point forward?
It’s not unusual, when someone has been through a traumatic period, to seek support and connections. Everyone wants to feel heard.
But what might be a comfort today could turn into a burden tomorrow. Such intimate self-disclosures on social media have a way of living forever.
“I am consistently wondering who this is serving,” said Dr. Ifetayo Ojelade, referring to social media posts that share the details of rocky relationships.
“All of us have had pain,” said the Atlanta-based psychologist, who does not personally know Reesa Teesa. But there’s a “difference between the person who goes to therapy and processes that pain and the person who gets on social media and decides to talk about it in a very public fashion.”
The latter can possibly distort who we are, she said. For women, it can reinforce a broader stereotype that some of us are so desperate to be married that we are willing to ignore red flags and tolerate unacceptable behavior.
“That is the downfall of social media. There are more stories that are getting out, but sometimes those stories can be unproductive,” Ojelade said.
Reesa Teesa has said her primary goal in relaying her experience is to help other people who may be in a similar situation.
Many viewers grabbed onto her story, even sharing their own in the comments.
Shevon Jones, an Atlanta-based licensed clinical social worker and CEO of the Mental Wellness Collective, said building community is one of the positive aspects of sharing a story online. But, she warned, once you share that story, it no longer belongs to you.
Your story, and sometimes your life, becomes community property.
“You really need to ask yourself what is my intention in sharing this, because it may not go the way you want it to,” Jones said.
Some people who share extensively on social media may be seeking a kind of support they don’t have in their own lives, said researcher Munmun De Choudhury, a Georgia Tech professor in the College of Computing.
Reesa Teesa has said she is in therapy. Her ex, with whom she said she has had no contact, has threatened a lawsuit.
From the beginning, she told her audience to “buckle in” because they were in for an unbelievable journey.
She called it a crazy ride that was even crazier for her, as the person who lived it.
It’s a story that has enthralled millions of people.
But I hope she understood that, by posting about it, she’s likely in for yet another crazy ride. And this one, too, is unpredictable.
Read more on the Real Life blog (www.ajc.com/opinion/real-life-blog/) and find Nedra on Facebook (www.facebook.com/AJCRealLifeColumn) and Twitter (@nrhoneajc) or email her at nedra.rhone@ajc.com.
