Helpdesk No. 3
Q: Perhaps you can help me with this and maybe even use it in an article. I hate to think I’m the only dummy in cyberspace. I always feel like I have to explain about my general ignorance of the details of computer use because I feel like everyone else already knows all about the stuff that baffles me. My question: Is there a way for a normal person to learn more about computing and how it works? Whaddya say? — Brook Evans
A: Boy, Brook that’s a good question. Unfortunately, the best questions often have the worst answers (at least from me). But let me try. I always compare learning about computing to playing a game that has intricate rules but no manual. The long-term answer is that the only real way to learn is to take classes like the ones offered at community colleges and to read about computing either through books or at some of the legitimate sites (there are so many bad ones) on the web. That’s not how I learned, by the way. I learned by trial and error, mostly error. But taking classes is a smarter way. The trouble with getting up to speed is that computing encompasses so many elements. There’s the hardware to learn about, but you also need to know how software works, and then there’s the online — the networking — part of computing. Many community colleges offer adult learning classes in computing and many areas have computer clubs that offer instructions. For people like you who have a genuine interest, it’s a long road but a rewarding trip.
I spent my youth in newsrooms, an excellent place to learn to be a jerk. I was young — too busy and too self-important to be polite.
All that was decades ago. It’s taken me danged near that long to realize that being polite isn’t just a virtue, it’s also practical. That’s especially true in the online world where others can only judge you based on the text they see on the screen — whether it is email, Twitter or online postings.
I’ve smoothed out some rough edges over the years but no one will mistake me for Ms. Manners. So I will serve as a most unlikely guide to etiquette today. Even so, I can help you avoid some of the pitfalls of being rude — by mistake, or on purpose — while online.
Don’t be a spammer
Some of the most annoying spam I receive doesn’t come from professional crooks, it comes from my friends. They send out long mass emails to everyone in their email program’s address book. These mailings usually include the email addresses of everyone on the list. Sharing those addresses is flat-out rude. Besides, the content of these emails is usually pretty lame. The last thing I want is some long email filled with bad jokes, photographs of cats, or semi-insane rants about politics or religion. Heck, if I wanted to hear that kind of stuff I could just turn on talk radio.
I like email from my friends and from readers. But these mass mailings contain nothing personal, there’s no attempt at conversation. I hope you don’t send these things out. You may believe it is a fine way to keep in touch with all your acquaintances. But if you have nothing to say, just don’t say it. Don’t rely on forwarding impersonal drivel.
I acknowledge that there may be some folks who actually like to receive long, impersonal emails like that. But if you feel compelled to send this stuff, at least ask your friends if they’d like to be included in your mass mailing list before sending it to them.
Tough guys finish last
It’s been true since the first words were typed online. The meek and shy become lions when at the keyboard of a computer. They have the quaint and bizarre belief that being a complete jerk will work in their favor when writing emails. When writing a company to ask for a replacement for a defective product, they believe that starting the email with a threat or insult will work best.
If I need to explain why that is a bad idea, then I’m probably wasting my breath. But since I have plenty of breath, let me try anyway. You’re more likely to get your problem resolved, or the help you want, if you are polite. Let’s stick with the obvious a bit longer. The people at the companies you write are humans. And humans react best when approached with a request in a calm and polite way. Even if you need to be firm with a request, it’s possible to do that without insults or threats.
Don’t be forward
Your email program has a button that is labeled forward. With just a click you can send an email you’ve received on to anyone you choose. But please remember that private correspondence should not be shared with others without permission.
I’ve made that mistake myself. Once in an effort to get help for an aged reader with computer problems, I wrote a technician in his area asking if he would be willing to help the reader. I mentioned that the reader seemed to have slowed down a bit mentally. Then, without thinking, I forwarded the whole bit of correspondence on to the reader telling him that help was on the way. Within minutes, the reader wrote back to thank me and also noted, “I do think I’ve slowed down a bit mentally, I agree.” I’m now danged near as old as the reader was then. And judging from my inability to find my car keys most mornings, I suspect my mind is moving a lot slower than his was back then.
OK, I’m done talking. And really all this boils down to something pretty simple: Be nice to people and they are likely to be nice right back.
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