The invitations are all printed, and the fresh accolades are on ice for the Tiger Woods Welcome Back Party. But complications have arisen.
As Round 2 began early Friday, there were at least 12 of them. That would be the number of players who stood between Woods and the lead of the Masters. There was no shortage of the world’s professionals forming a gauntlet for Woods to run on the way to a long-deferred, much-predicted 15th major title.
The sheer variety of obstacles was impressive. Those who bettered Woods’ 2-under 70 represented five different countries. They are a hungry, motley crew, with only two major titles among them. You need a world atlas and the media guides of at least two of earth’s professional tours to put a story to the faces.
The best that could be said for Woods’ 70: It was something of a charmed number. That is the identical score he shot to open the first three of his four Masters championship campaigns. Thursday left him, “very pleased, he said. “I hit the ball solidly and lag-putted pretty well.”
OK, you write a captivating headline out of that.
Day 1 instead was the stage for a jumble of alternative storylines.
Strangest sound of the day: players actually complaining about the slowness of the Augusta National greens.
They come here expecting to putt on surfaces that are the speed and slope of a Spaghetti Junction on-ramp. Instead, they were met with veritable 1960s-style shag carpet. While that should seem like a reprieve, that didn’t suit some.
“Slowest I’ve ever seen them,” said defending champion Bubba Watson, whose three-over 75 included three three-putt greens, and 35 putts in all. “The balls weren’t rolling out like they normally do over the past year, so I just left a lot of putts short.”
“I thought the greens were a little bit tough in the sense that they just didn’t have the sheen to them, they didn’t have the roll out,” Woods said.
With rain expected into Friday, the greens may not pick up much velocity overnight.
Strangest round of the day: Rickie Fowler's 68. The 24-year-old with the shaggy hair and the stubbornly horizontal hat brim found himself in contention despite two double bogeys (on Nos. 1 and 10). Resilient, he birdied immediately after each. His eagle on the par-5 15th — one of 14 the field churned out Thursday — was therapeutic.
A one-time motocross racer, Fowler could not have gotten away with such a faltering start in his old sport.
“(Of the double bogey on 1) Yeah, could have been a pile up in the first corner, so I would have been heading back to the pits,” he said.
Most unlikely grinder on the leaderboard: Among the group two back of co-leaders Sergio Garcia and Marc Leishman (at 6 under) was the pride of Stoke-on-Trent, England, David Lynn.
Before Thursday, he had played exactly as many Masters rounds as Loretta Lynn. At 39, this Lynn had forged a decent living on the European Tour, winning once in 2004. He qualified for his first Masters after a most-surprising runner-up finish in last year’s PGA Championship.
A practical joker, Lynn is into the odd fad of planking — lying rigidly in incongruous places and sharing the experience through social media.
Asked where he might plank, if Augusta National officials were suddenly infected with a sense of humor, Lynn said, “Hogan’s Bridge is probably the obvious one.”
“I have to be careful this week,” he conceded. “I’d like to be able to come back.”
Most likely geezer to be there: Fred Couples did his usual Old Man and the Tee routine Thursday, shooting 68 at the age of 53. The all-time Masters career scoring leader for players with 100 rounds or more (71.89 average entering Thursday), Couples only padded his lead. Thursday was his fifth Masters round in the 60s after the age of 50.
“Honestly it’s not surprising. I’m going to come out (Friday) and do everything I can to keep this going because I know I can play this course,” Couples said.
Throw into the mix a 14-year-old who is about the size of an out-of-bounds stake shooting a 73. Tianlang Guan put down his own challenge Thursday, finishing better than 38 adults. The Guan Line has been established — the Masters version of the Mendoza Line. Are you better than an eighth grader? That’s the question facing more than a third of the Masters field Friday.
There’s another reason Woods has been stuck on 14 major titles since his 2008 U.S. Open victory.
One that stretches beyond the injuries and indiscretions that have been routinely cited. One that was fully on display during a cloudy Thursday at the Masters.
There are a whole bunch of players of every size and age out there in the golfing kingdom who are good at what they do. None are in the mood to simply serve as human party favors.
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