Real news would be Tiger Woods making shots

Tiger Woods’ private jet was spotted at the Augusta airport Tuesday. So we can at least be certain that the world’s No. 104-ranked player with a case of the yips hasn’t been reduced to Googling airfares and flying commercial.

This is what we get now from Woods: drama without glory, buzz without substance. The plane! The plane!

Remember when a golfer wearing a red shirt on Sunday created the news?

Woods has morphed from one of sports’ most dominant competitors to a curiosity, a sideshow, a walking museum piece. First, it was his personal life that became a train wreck. Now, it’s his golf game.

He has won 79 tournaments but none in the past 19 months. He has won 14 majors, but none in the past seven years. Since January 2014, the results of his appearances in official PGA events are as follows: 80th, withdrew, 25th, missed cut, 69th, withdrew, missed cut, missed cut, withdrew.

The last time he completed a round, he shot at an 82 at the Phoenix Open, the worst 18-hole score of his career.

The last time he played in a tournament, he pulled out after 11 holes, in pain, and offered this explanation: “It’s just my glutes are shutting off.”

If this was the beginning of his career, friends and relatives would be suggesting he go back to school or maybe take a sales job or caddie.

In short, it doesn’t really matter that Woods’ Gulfstream G-5 was parked Tuesday at an airport near Augusta National Golf Club, home of next week’s Masters. Because if the plane was parked near the site of a Super Bowl, a World Series, the Kentucky Derby, the Olympic figure-skating venue or the Westminster Dog Show, Woods would be an equal long shot to win any of those events, too.

Yet, everybody watches.

Everybody looks at the leaderboard, waiting for his name to reappear.

Everybody waits for him to do … something.

Every sport has yesterday’s heroes. But not every sport is like golf, where a suddenly irrelevant figure still moves the meter.

The Masters will still be the Masters next week, whether Woods plays (and the fact that Woods reportedly played 18 holes at Augusta on Tuesday shouldn’t lead anybody to conclude that he has decided he’s physically or mentally well enough to play). But when Woods plays, he still draws the biggest crowds, no matter if he’s chipping with hands of Jell-O.

When Woods pulled out of last year’s Masters following back surgery, the tournament went on a discount rack in the unofficial secondary ticket market. Scalpers who were getting $700 to $800 for practice rounds in 2013 were getting $240 to $300 minus Woods. The going rate for tournament week badges fell from up to $12,000 to about $3,500.

TV ratings also suffered, with CBS recording its lowest numbers for the weekend since 1993 (when Woods was 17 and still an amateur). Saturday’s 3.9 rating was the lowest since 1957. Woods’ absence had the same effect on the U.S. Open. The final round in 2013 with him: 6.1. The final round in 2014 without him: 3.3 (a record low).

He isn’t the player who seemed a cinch to break Jack Nicklaus’ record for 18 majors. He is the player who has completed just 47 holes in 2015. He is erratic off the tee and seems to have completely lost his nerve when it comes to putting and chipping.

Playing Augusta National without a short game: good luck with that.

Woods used to look down on everybody in the world rankings. Now, at No. 104, the immediate objective isn’t to win a tournament but to pass the four guys immediately ahead of him — Thorbjorn Oleson, Morgan Hoffmann, Daniel Summerhayes and Emiliano Grillo.

But he’s still Tiger Woods, even if he’s not really still Tiger Woods. Nike understands the public’s fascination. The athletic apparel company last week released what outfits Woods would wear in his four rounds of the Masters.

The common joke now: He better wear the red shirt on Thursday or it’s never getting out of the wrapper.

Woods didn’t play in the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill two weeks ago. It made news. He didn’t play in the Valero Open last week. It made news. Few expected he would attempt to play in the Masters without some semblance of a warm-up, but there he was Tuesday. Or, at least, there was his plane.

“I won’t return to the PGA Tour until my game is tournament ready and I can compete at the highest level,” Woods said after pulling out of Bay Hill. “I hope to be ready for the Masters, and I will continue to work hard preparing for Augusta.”

That’s not news. The news will be when Woods looks like he can win again, and that may not be any time soon.