Jill Howard Church: Give Dad his due

Maybe it’s Venus vs. Mars typecasting. Judging from the greeting card aisles, moms get flowers and poetry while dads get something related to golf, fishing or power tools. Moms are the multitasking miracle workers we make queen for a day, while dads presumably can get by with being brought an extra beer without leaving the recliner.

There’s just not the surge of sentiment (or is it commercialism?) surrounding Father’s Day compared to our other celebrations.

Banners still adorn many Fayette County neighborhoods, proudly announcing the names of recent graduates. How come their fathers don’t get any public spectacle for putting up with missed curfews, sitting through sports events in heat and cold, and always being the court of last resort when Mom says no?

Graduates get inspiring speeches. Moms get chocolate. Dads get the check.

Our Father’s Day accolades ought to reflect the growing diversity of dads. Unlike my parents’ generation, today’s dads were raised to do many of the same chores traditionally (and unfairly) left to moms. They know how to change both diapers and tires. They know the rules of the PTO and the NBA. They’re just as likely to help coach their girls’ teams as their boys’. Household divisions of labor often have more to do with mutual work schedules than gender stereotypes.

All this is a good thing. Granted, most dads still can’t cook dinner, fill out field trip forms and do laundry simultaneously, but they’re getting better at some of the daily grunt work. Many a modern man has reminded his wife, “My dad never did this!,” not as a complaint but as a triumph.

I recently attended a wedding where a young father wore his newborn daughter swaddled to his chest in a harness for the duration of the ceremony and reception. His wife looked lovely and was no doubt enjoying the freedom of having someone else carry the baby for a while.

The guy was in near-constant motion for at least an hour and smiled the whole time. He swayed on dance floor with his tiny partner while everyone else found their seats, and was still rocking gently while in line for the buffet to keep her quiet and happy. They were precious together, and you could picture them having many more dad and daughter moments for years to come.

Mothers and fathers will always play unique roles in their children’s lives, but it’s increasingly more a matter of distinction than degree. Dads who abandon their roles should be ashamed of themselves, but the majority who don’t deserve their due.

So give your pops some props this Father’s Day. If he’s the kind you can count on, make his day count too.

Jill Howard Church has lived in Fayette County since 1994. Reach her at jillptcblog@aol.com.