A winemaker walks into a barber shop and sits in the barber’s chair. The barber notices the winemaker looks sad and asks, “Andre, why are you looking so glum?”
Andre replies, “Due to climate change, the temperatures are rising in Burgundy, France. That’s created an unprecedented streak of great vintages, about a decade’s worth, in fact.”
“That’s good,” says the barber.
“No, that’s bad. The popularity of Burgundy has swelled worldwide demand to such an extent that prices for many these wines have skyrocketed beyond what most wine lovers can afford.”
“That’s bad.”
“No, that’s good. Burgundy does make very special wines from chardonnay and pinot noir grapes, but there are dozens of other regions around the world that also make great wines from chardonnay and pinot noir. I’ve recently explored the Willamette Valley in Oregon and discovered a burgeoning trend of high-quality chardonnay wines to go along with their thriving pinot noir industry. Places like Patagonia in Argentina and South Island in New Zealand are great place for folks priced out of Burgundy wines to look for delicious chardonnays and pinot noirs.”
“Oh, that’s good.”
“No, that’s bad. Climate change is creating these opportunities for some wine regions at the expense of others. Here, let me read you a little bit from an article that my friend, Joel Kostka, sent me from the May 7 edition of EOS, the earth and space science journal of the American Geophysical Union. Dr. Kostka is a climate researcher and microbiologist down at Georgia Tech. I just happen to have the article right here.
“It says: Past research has shown that under a business-as-usual greenhouse gas emissions scenario, places like Australia, Italy, Spain, France and South Africa would see a sharp decrease in grape-growing productivity — anywhere from 25 percent to 73 percent, depending on the region. Some wineries are already moving their production toward the poles, where the heat can be less unrelenting. Warmer weather may also affect the taste and alcohol content of wine because temperature-induced chemical processes that occur within growing grapes could make them less desirable to consumers.”
“Oh my, that’s bad.”
“No, that’s good. In the very same article, JoAnna Wendel, reporting on the 2015 Joint Assembly of U.S. and Canadian geoscientist organizations in Montreal, Quebec, writes:
“Bottom line: ‘In terms of climate conditions, we can expect increased wine-making potential’ in the southern regions of Quebec, Roy said at the press conference. These regions may be able to grow more varieties of grapes, such as merlot, pinot noir and chardonnay, which could make these future wineries’ products more desirable to consumers.” Wendel quoted Philippe Roy, lead researcher and climate scenarios specialist at the Ouranos Consortium on Regional Climatology and Adaptation to Climate Change.”
“Hey, that’s good.”
“No, that’s bad. It’s just another straw on the camel’s back of evidence that climate change is real with very real consequences. In his study, that Roy fellow pointed out the unpredictable nature of climate change could include more vine-destroying hail storms and increased humidity levels that can cause disease to flourish in the vineyards. Only a few outcomes, like more and better wines from Canada, are good.”
“That’s bad.”
“Yes. That’s bad.”
(With apologies to the late Archie Campbell)
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