How to succeed as a newbie wine collector

$130

Engaging, rich aromas of dark berry fruit, tobacco, cola with a hint of smoke. Massive but in balance with flavors of ripe plum, black cherry and cassis with well-integrated tannins. Immensely enjoyable now, but could be cellared for 15 years.

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The money train has finally arrived. You have a few extra thousand dollars landing on your household spreadsheet every year and you don’t expect that to change anytime soon. You can do one of two things:

a.) Invest in soy bean futures, or

b.) Become a wine collecting hobbyist.

While option “a” can be exciting and rewarding, I’m still going to talk about how to start and rationally manage your new toy, which is your wine cellar.

As implied in my opening statement, collecting wine is not cheap. You're buying bottles in the many tens, if not hundreds, of dollars and you're not drinking them, at least not right away.

To avoid genuine tears 10 to 20 years hence, let’s review the five tenets of wine storage.

1. Lay bottles on their side (you knew that one).

2. A constant 55 degrees.

3. High humidity (70 percent would do nicely).

4. Dark.

5. No vibrations.

Despite what the Beach Boys told you, there is no such thing as good vibrations when it comes to wine storage. If you have one of those inexpensive refrigeration units from a big box home improvement store, you are slowly degrading your wine. Every time it cycles on and off, it shakes the wines inside a little. That’s OK for a couple months or even a couple years, but, for example, if you bought any 2010 Bordeaux (many of them will be drinking great for the next 40 years), that’s 2.8 million on-and-offs over the next four decades.

Refrigeration unit vs. a cellar. There are units that feature zero vibrations in addition to all the other cellaring commandments, but they are expensive. These go for $3,000 to $6,000 and can realistically hold 150 to 200 bottles. Eventually, you'll need two.

A free-standing unit is great if you plan on moving or simply don’t have the space. The better option, if possible, is to build a cellar, which involves a lot more than an air conditioner and some racking. For a 500- to 1,000-bottle cellar, think about $10,000 to $15,000. Could you adequately do it for a little less? Yes. For a lot less? No.

Do you want/need a 5,000- or 10,000-bottle cellar? No. Remember, this is a hobby, not an obsession. The goal of collecting is to enjoy your wine and appreciate your acquisitions over time. Anything over 3,000 bottles is just showing off.

Perhaps the hardest lesson for newbie wine collectors is fighting the urge to fill up their cellars right away. If, after you wave goodbye to the carpenters and HVAC guys, you go out and buy a few dozen cases of wine, you'll soon have a storage problem and a consumption problem. Start slowly, but keep discovering wines and wine regions that you love until you find a happy equilibrium between acquisition and consumption, which generally will be around 1,000 bottles.

Here's the best illustration of what I mean: Once upon a time, PGA golfer and wine lover Jeff Sluman had a massive cellar in his Chicago-area home. In a 2007 interview for Golf Digest, he told me of his passion for filling it up until he realized he was losing track of what he bought and was not getting around to enjoying many bottles as they marched past their prime.

His solution: Build a smaller cellar. In his new house, he built a functional cellar that held 2,500 bottles in which he maintained about 1,500. Sluman drinks well (and so do his friends); he gets to enjoy the beauties he purchased back in 1988 when he won the PGA Championship; and, perhaps most importantly, he’s not throwing money and wine down the drain because he has more bottles than he can consume in a lifetime. That’s the mark of a humble man and a smart collector.