Daniel Radcliffe on relationships
The film questions what crosses the line of friends between romantically involved. We talked to the actor and found out what he thinks about the film’s focus on romantic and platonic relationships.
Could you keep your boundaries if you were attracted to a girl who just wants to be friends?
I think in this film, Wallace is more passive than I am. He is in denial with his feelings about this girl, because he has been hurt in a relationship before. I’m worst at living in the grey area, so I’d have to find out what was going on.
Do you think men and women can be friends if romantic feelings aren’t mutual?
I think everyone has been in a situation like Wallace’s. It has happened on both sides with me. I have been interested in a girl and it has developed into a relationship, and other times it hasn’t worked out. In the end I have been able to be friends with the girl, so I think it is entirely possible for people to stay friends.
What distinguishes this romantic comedy from others?
This movie is different. Often you have a boyfriend that is a horrible person, so it makes the choice easy for the audience to feel bad for a character like Wallace. And yet Chantry’s boyfriend Ben (Rafe Spell) is good looking and successful, he’s nice to Chantry and (understands) her friendship with Wallace. It gives the film some tension because you don’t know what side to choose.
The diner scenes with Chantry and Wallace show the beginnings of the relationship. Why are these your favorite scenes?
The diner scenes are subtle, they don’t bash you over the head. O I would take a girl to a diner at some point while we are dating because it’s just a comfortable setting to get to know someone.
What are those qualities that you look for in a girl?
Oh, the same qualities that most guys are looking for I believe — intelligence, someone who can make me laugh and whom I can have a good conversation with.
“I totally get that guys don’t want to hang out with the girl who has the boyfriend, but it just sucks. It should be easier to make friends when you have a boyfriend because there is no confusion,” Chantry (played by Zoe Kazen) says, extending her hand. “Friends?”
“Yeah, why not, friends?” Wallace (played by Daniel Radcliffe) concedes.
This scene from “What If,” a romantic comedy opening in theaters Aug. 15 centers on a friendship between the single and tender-hearted Wallace, and Chantry, who is in a five-year relationship. The film raises the question: Can a man or woman settle for a friendship with someone to whom he or she feels attracted?
It depends of the man and the woman.
“Women expect closer relationships from friendships, whereas men can take them or leave them,” said Dr. Joyce Morley, a relationship expert at Morley & Associates in Atlanta. “Boys are taught and given permission to be selfish, whereas girls are taught to be selfless. Therefore, when girls become women, they are often looking for their friendships to last for a lifetime.”
In the film, Chantry fits into the mold of a woman looking for a friend to trust. Morley says that this is why women tend to have better friendships with men, because they are regarded as better secret keepers. Meanwhile, Wallace’s past relationship has left him wounded, making him willing to settle for friendship.
“Men often get a bad rep in romantic films, but in this one, you have a man as the vulnerable character,” said the actor Radcliffe in an interview with The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “I think there are men out there who can relate to Wallace’s situation because they were hurt in previous relationships.”
There are also men who are content with a friendship for the sake of keeping a circle of friends intact.
Jason Katz, 23, of Brookhaven never admitted his feelings to a woman he was attracted to, because they were friends with the same people.
“You are taking a gamble on losing not just one person that you care about, but multiple,” he said. “The costs far outweighed the benefits, because it could create an uncomfortable situation for the group.”
In Katz’s case, the feelings dissipated over time and the pair remain friends.
If a man and woman make the choice to pursue a relationship with a friend, they have to be willing to challenge platonic boundaries, Morely said.
“Men often have no problem in crossing the line to expect that their friendship with their female friend becomes an intimate relationship,” Morley said. “It is easier for them to move on if the friendship ends, whereas women maintain an emotional attraction.”
There can be benefits to waiting for the opportune moment to move from friends to a relationship, but Morley believes it depends on the people involved and the understanding of the friendship. Waiting will increase the resolve of both individuals and uncover conversations that need to be held, like the dreaded "what are we?"
Morley believes that this discussion is essential to the well-being of the two people involved. “It will teach them that they have choices in both friendships and relationships,” she said.
Brooke Lane, 24, Peachtree Hills, said her current boyfriend Craig was actively pursuing her, and she was trying to convince herself otherwise.
“I told myself time and again that I loved Craig, but only as friends.” Lane said. It took her a year of being friends before she realized she was in love with Craig and wanted a relationship.
“I honestly doubt we would be as close again had our relationship not taken the turn it did,” she said. Lane and her boyfriend have been dating for three years and live together.
While it is a difficult conversation, Morley says it is important to decide if you can remain friends.
"It gives them permission to focus on self, and eventually gives them permission to move on with their lives," Morley said.
“People always say men and women can’t be friends, and as I get older, the more I’m starting to think it’s true,” said Sarah Buchanan of Vinings, who was best friends with a man for five years before he revealed he loved her.
Buchanan’s story was similar to Chantry and Wallace’s relationship. Buchanan, 28, was already in a serious relationship and did not feel the same way about her friend. She was given the ultimatum: if she didn’t feel the same, her friend couldn’t stand to be around her. Their friendship broke off.
“I was bummed because I knew nothing would be the same. He went from being my best friend, to loving me, to hating me.”
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