It’s a dark and spooky time of year with ghosts dangling from trees, skeletons lounging on porch swings and dragons lurking on lawns.
After Halloween, many people stash away these decorations for next year, but that’s somewhat premature, since All Souls’ Day occurs on Nov. 2.
This is a day devoted to remembering family and friends who have died, while reflecting on the big truth we’d like to avoid, which is there’s always room for one more at the cemetery.
Mentioning death in polite company can create uncomfortable silences, followed by desperate attempts to change the subject. Even politics and religion, usually taboo topics at social gatherings, are considered preferable to discussing our mortality.
Death takes center stage, however, on All Souls’ Day, when many Christians head to the cemetery to say special prayers for their loved ones.
Some bring picnics and eat lunch at the grave site, while others leave clusters of flowers and mementos.
On this day, Latin American and Mexican folks build altars to the dead, constructed with favorite foods, flowers and candles, while others set an extra place at the table to remember the faithful departed.
As a little girl, I began praying for the faithful departed, who were thought to be in purgatory, a place where the soul is cleansed before standing in God’s presence.
The Catholic and Orthodox Christian tradition of praying for the dead comes from the Jewish people, and is mentioned in the Book of Maccabees in the Old Testament: “It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead.”
The prayers are a beautiful connection with the dead, reminding us they are still close. And one traditional petition is “Eternal rest grant unto them, oh Lord, and may the perpetual light shine upon them.”
The first person on my list was my beloved Uncle Johnny, who died of a heart attack in his 30s, leaving a wife and two babies.
I was very fond of him and missed him terribly, and began praying fervently for him at church each Sunday. This gesture showed my love for him, and he remained in my prayers for decades.
The other early deaths were my turtles, Flat Top and Wormy, and even though they didn’t need prayers, I was an avid prayer warrior and kept them on the list for a long time.
Over the years, the list grew longer, as mortality caught up with my friends, including a college sophomore who committed suicide and a graduate student who died in a car wreck. Before long, my parents’ names were added, then more aunts and uncles and a cousin just a little older than me.
Of course, my husband’s death was the most shocking and impossible of all, and it still seems wrong to see his name on the list.
Still, I’ve never felt he left my life completely, because he has helped me so many times over the past four years. And there’s comfort in a passage from the Book of Wisdom about the departed: “The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them.
They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction.”
On All Souls’ Day, I will visit my husband’s grave, brush away the leaves and place flowers there, while reminding myself that this biblical passage closes with simple words that echo down through the centuries. “They are in peace.”
And I will light a vigil candle at church and say a prayer, that the faithful departed may find hope and mercy, as they are illuminated by the perpetual light of Christ.
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