About a year ago, I was watching television when a news report came on about a fire that had started at a warehouse close to where I live. The cameras captured the scene as the fire quickly devoured everything in its path. The program stopped for commercials and when it came back only 5 minutes later, the news station showed another aerial video of the untamed flames. The fire had spread quickly and seemed to be destroying a fortune in inventory at the warehouse. Black smoke covered the beautiful summer skies.
As I read the news the next morning, the county fire chief concluded after an initial investigation that the fire was accidental. A spark from a metal that scratched the concrete floor initiated the flames that destroyed 65 percent of the company’s inventory. One spark. One small, accidental spark.
Fire is a powerful force of nature that typically starts by accident, consuming everything in its path. A fire that starts with a small spark can also destroy a lifetime of work and memories. Our speech, like fire, can inflict damage that spreads far and wide. Careless words can damage a person’s reputation, hurt a child’s self-esteem for life or irreparably sever a relationship. Sometimes a small comment or angry word spoken in haste can create a wedge between husband and wife, the closest of friends, parents and their children. Lies, gossip, slanders, profanity – the truth is, every time we use ill-intended words, we throw consuming fire into people’s lives.
It’s not that our hearts are necessarily full of hate, anger or jealousy when we speak hurtful, careless words. It may be that we get caught up in the moment, speak more than we should and say something that might unintentionally hurt someone else. However, if we are to have lives that truly impact the world around us, we must certainly start by holding our tongues.
Because one of my favorite things in the world is to communicate, I have learned to develop some conscious habits to avoid saying things that I will regret. I don’t claim to always master them, but with God’s help nudging me in the right direction, I have seen huge changes through the years. I have become increasingly aware of my words by pausing and praying before speaking when something upsets me. I have also learned that often, if I just wait about 30 minutes after waking up to start conversations, they are much more productive and pleasant. And more importantly, I have been learning to bring my battles before God and ask him which ones are worth fighting before rushing into war.
Truth being said, if we honestly search our hearts to understand the true motives behind what we say, we may be surprised to find out that there is unresolved anger, unforgiveness or past traumas that keep conducting or influencing? the way we speak. As the truth behind our words is revealed and we find out the real motivation behind our short temper, and the need to gossip or judge, we may realize that the people we hurt the most for using words unwisely are ourselves. And may we ask God to help us change from within. One thought and one word at a time.
Patricia Holbrook is a Bible teacher, writer and national conference speaker. She lives in Kennesaw with her husband and two daughters. Visit her blog at www.soaringwithHim.com or email her at pholbrook@soaringwithhim.com.
