As I was getting ready to write my Christmas column, I found a letter slipped beneath my door. Imagine my surprise, dear readers, when I saw it was titled “An Open Letter From Santa.” And here it is:
First, let’s get one thing straight about the beard: Yes, it’s real. But the blasted suit is made of fabric that doesn’t breathe, so, frankly, it gets a little itchy at times.
But generally, despite a few glitches — and who doesn’t have them? — I love being Santa.
Now, it’s true that sometimes the elves give me heartburn. Take last year, when they threatened to strike because they weren’t keen on some of the toys.
Elves, you see, are old-fashioned. They remember the days when girls wanted fetching baby dolls and boys longed for tinker toys and model trains.
Today some of the dolls are so grown-up they make the elves blush. And many little boys are asking for Xboxes and iPads and complicated gizmos way beyond the elves’ comprehension.
Still, I’m delighted to have a job, especially in today’s economy. Yes, the hours are impossible, but, hey, it’s only one night a year! Plus, the reindeer do a good job of getting me where I need to go, although at times I do wish the sleigh had cruise control.
I know many people are curious about Santa’s wish list, so here’s the inside scoop.
Most of all, I’d love to change the minds of folks who think I’m all about greed and grabbing more stuff. You see, I get downright discouraged when people imply I’m trying to lead kids away from Jesus.
Let’s get real here! My big goal is seeing that glimmer of joy in a child’s eyes. And this happiness needn’t come from a toy that costs 200 bucks. A simple teddy bear or a second-hand bike will do the trick.
If you check a few websites, you’ll discover I trace my roots to a Christian figure, a saint in fact! That’s what “Santa” means. Long ago, there was a generous man in Turkey named Nicholas who loved helping poor children. And my name, “Claus,” is a shortened form of his.
I’m all about spreading wonder and cheer, and being part of that childhood world where anything is possible — even a heavy-set fellow in a sleigh delivering presents all over the world on one special night.
I wish people would stop thinking I’m trying to steal the limelight from the manger. After all, Jesus came into the world to bring us love and joy. And he cherished little children very much, just as I do.
In truth, I’m intent on upping the joy quotient in the world, and, frankly, I can’t imagine doing anything else. So even if I have a few aches and pains, I don’t plan to retire any time soon.
Really, how could I? The kids wouldn’t stand for it — and neither would the elves.
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