They exchanged phone numbers, but weeks passed without a call.
Ann-Jeannine Key didn’t want to impose and Melanie Seymore didn’t think Jeannine would remember her. But eventually Melanie put aside her reservations, picked up the phone and called.
the women identified a bond far beyond race and age. They were sisters now in the battle against one of the deadliest breast cancers there is: triple negative.
“We cried and laughed for two hours,” said 42-year-old Jeannine recently. “It was like we knew each other.”
Over the next few months, the women, Jeannine from Roswell and Melanie from Suwanee, would discover a powerful weapon -- one experts say often gets overlooked -- in their quest for health and healing: friendship.
Karen McCarthy, a child life specialist with the Aflac Cancer Center at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, says she has witnessed dozens of friendships blossom between patients, a by-product of sharing common diagnoses, doctors and treatment regimens.
“There is a familiarity with one another as a glance across the room can convey a certain level of nausea each has experienced,” McCarthy said. “They begin to bond over a lifestyle their healthy peers know nothing about: surgeries, hair loss, the taste of saline being flushed into their lines, the athletic dream ripped out from under you.”
The power of friendship is so important that Winship started a peer partners program two years ago, matching up newly diagnosed cancer patients with survivors.
"The feedback we get is that patients benefit not only from the friendship but from knowing that someone else understands what they are going through," said James Hankins, director of social services at Winship. "Your family is there for you and wants to help -- and does -- but there's nothing like the bond that's created when you are in the trenches with someone."
In the fall of Melanie and Jeannine would receive the same bad news within weeks of the other: the lumps in their right breasts were cancerous.
They both were referred to oncologist Amelia Zelnak at Winship, Georgia’s only National Cancer Institute-designated cancer treatment center. Zelnak identified their lumps as triple negative, one of the most aggressive cancers there is and most common among African-American women like Melanie.
For Jeannine, there would be more bad news. A genetic test revealed she was predisposed for breast and ovarian cancer. Instead of a lumpectomy, she decided the best course of action was to remove both breasts and her ovaries.
Melanie chose to participate in a five year clinical study for Triple Negative at Winship. Doctors suggested three types of chemotherapy,
The two first met in the doctor's office, naturally. Jeannine and Steve were were in the waiting room, laughing and joking about a childhood memory, when Melanie walked in with her sister, Kimberly Seymore.
“I remember the moment distinctly. Everyone was so down, but were sitting there cutting up,” Jeannine remembered. “I was completely bald and remember taking off my beanie and putting it down.”
That got Melanie’s attention. She could never do that. Her hair was her crowning glory. She prized the way she looked, especially in public.
When she overheard Jeannine mention those dreaded words -- triple negative -- her ears perked up.
“I am too,” Melanie said. “Maybe we can talk.”
Weeks later, Melanie summoned the courage to call. They were alike in many ways. They both worked hard at their jobs, Melanie as a human resources systems director and Jeannine as an executive assistant at an IT company. They led active lifestyles and enjoyed international travel. They laughed about rocking their bald heads, about how “fabulously hot” Jeannine would be with new breasts as perky as a 20-year-old. And they cried when Jeannine expressed fear that no one would want her once they saw her naked.
When they hung up two hours later, they felt refreshed. It was comforting to have someone to talk to, to not have to explain.
“It was difficult for people to truly understand,” said Jeannine. “Many seemed to minimize what I was going through. Melanie was so sweet and compassionate towards me. We knew instantly we had a connection. We didn’t know what it was about or how it would play out but I believe it was divinely orchestrated.”
In February, Jeannine had her last chemo treatment and in March, doctors removed both breasts and began reconstructive surgery.
In April, it was Melanie’s last turn at chemo. She bought cupcakes to mark the occasion. Jeannine showed up with a balloon bouquet.
With her treatments complete, Melanie underwent a lumpectomy and the two friends slowly returned to their old routines. They talked less often and see each other again. The occasion was Melanie's wedding in October. Jeannine took the opportunity to debut her new beau Jay.
“It was the best and most unique wedding I’ve ever been to in my entire life,” Jeannine said. “Jay and I still talk about that.”
A broad grin lights up her face as she recalls the memory.
“This journey has empowered me,” Jeannine said. “I feel like I can face anything.”
