Recipe: Gluten-Free Vegan Butternut Squash Risotto

This Thanksgiving, awkwardness is on the menu. My niece’s fiance’s parents, aunts and grandmother will join us for the first time. And I fear we won’t make it past appetizers before these good people throw their son in the trunk of their rental car and whisk him away to a different family. You know, one that doesn’t squabble over politics and driving routes with all of the respect of an internet comments section.

We can’t even agree on a menu, because one-third of the 30 guests have a dietary constraint. Fortunately, I love to cook almost as much as I love my niece. I planned dishes to accommodate every individual’s preferences, in the hope that their mouths will be too full to insert their feet. Dairy-free peeps will enjoy hummus with homemade pita instead of a French cheese plate. Meat enthusiasts will get a traditional fried turkey, brined for 12 hours. And the gluten-free vegans? They’ll feast on roasted Brussels sprouts and my famous butternut squash risotto.

You may think that preparing a labor-intensive dish like risotto is the most ludicrous part of this whole scenario. I promise it’s not, because my method is mostly hands-off. Instead of adding vegetable broth to the rice one ladleful at a time, I pour it in all at once. Then I throw in lightly sauteed squash and onions, and bake the risotto until the liquid is absorbed and the veggies are soft.

Are you thinking that it sounds too easy to be true? Well, it is slightly annoying to chop butternut squash, but if you remove the hard outer shell with a vegetable peeler, you can work quickly and safely. Yes, you do have to heat the broth before you add it to the rice; otherwise, you might chip a tooth. Do not, under any circumstances, substitute bread-making yeast for the cheesy-tasting nutritional yeast, or your risotto, like your family, will bubble over. And for maximum umami flavor, I recommend homemade veggie broth. But I’ll be too busy keeping my cooking knives out of the hands of babes while their parents drink my good bourbon to make broth from scratch.

Look, it’s Thanksgiving. We’ll get dressed up, and over-served, and the gluten-free vegans will trade snarky jabs with the carnivores, and with any luck, my niece’s fiance’s grandmother likes my cooking. I’m just so grateful everyone will be here. Otherwise, what will we laugh about at Christmas?