Q: My sister is emotionally ill and lives with my 87-year-old mother. Four years ago, she convinced my mother that my brother and I were stealing from her. She even created crime scenes. My mother believed her. We have been unable to convince my mother that the story is a fraud and over the last three years, she has cut off all contact. Apparently, she has legally disowned her entire family, including eight grandchildren. Do we have any recourse if this is my mother's "choice?" — Susan, via e-mail
A: If your mother is in command of her faculties, she has a right to disown, cut off contact, etc. In the event she is not in charge of her faculties, if you choose, you can go to court and try to have her declared incompetent and either you or your brother her guardian. If it is a question of her value of her estate, that is one thing, but the situations is apparently is that your sister — emotionally ill or not — is living with and helping care for your mother. It's unfortunate that your mother believes the stories that your sister is telling. Apparently she has convinced her and while I am sure that you guys are hurt, there is little I can think of, as long as she has her faculties, that you can do about this. You should know the grandchildren have no claim on your mother's estate unless they are specifically remembered in a will. If your mother dies in testate — which means without a will — then all of the siblings will have an equal claim on the estate and you will have to apply it to the Surrogates Court for one of you to be appointed administrator of that estate. I can tell you now this is going to be a very nasty enterprise.
Q: I'm 63 years old. I have approximately $210,000 in savings, IRA, variable annuity and mutual funds. My home is valued at around $300,000 and I owe $90,000. I do not have a will or a trust. Based on my circumstances, which would you recommend? Thank you for your help. — W.R., via e-mail
A: You haven't told me who you would like your assets to go to when that time comes. You will certainly require a will making your wishes known and naming an executor/personal representative. In the absence of this, I have no way of knowing who would step forward if anyone? If you could give me some notion as to who or what you would like to leave your assets to, it might be a charity. If that were the case, most charities will provide for the legal expenses of setting up the appropriate vehicle to transfer those assets. The worst thing you can do in my opinion is nothing.
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