An elderly woman told me once that sleeveless tops and dresses were inappropriate for church attire. Cover my arms, she told me.

I smiled and nodded, knowing full well I had no intention of heeding her fashion advice.

That isn’t to say I didn’t have a lot of respect for Mrs. Finney. I did. I always thought she was impeccably dressed, but her advice, I was sure, had less to do with right and wrong and more with age.

Which gets me back to the column I wrote a week ago about plunging necklines and miniskirts being banned from Ethics and Elections Committee meetings in Kansas.

A lot of women, myself included, found Sen. Mitch Holmes' proposed 11-point code of conduct rather offensive. The senator was just plain wrong to suggest women cover up so those of the male persuasion wouldn't become distracted.

He later apologized but the proposal came as little surprise to Amie Hess, associate professor of sociology at Meredith College, an all-women’s institution in Raleigh, N.C.

The regulation of women and women’s bodies continues in ways that often go unrecognized or unchecked, she said.

I suggested that that has to stop, but some of you thought I contradicted myself and revealed my own bias when I ended with this: But come on, ladies, a little bit of class still goes a long way.

“Seriously, you negated your whole argument by taking only ‘ladies’ to task with your last sentence,” one reader wrote. “Why couldn’t you say: ‘But come on, PEOPLE, …’”

While I don't believe men have a right to tell us what to do with our bodies or how to adorn them, I do think there is indeed a time and place for everything, including plunging necklines and miniskirts.

I’ve always erred on the side of covering up and have tried with some success to get my 20-something daughters to do the same. It wasn’t until I celebrated my 40th birthday nearly 20 years ago that I started to seriously consider my hemline. What was appropriate? What wasn’t?

I know what I like, but I’m no fashion expert either. Amanda Hallay, professor of fashion merchandising at LIM College, is, so I circled back to her.

In no uncertain terms, she told me there are rules that determine clothing propriety for women 40 and older and the millennials we like to imitate, starting with this: dress in a stylish manner that speaks your gravitas.

Young women entering the workplace for the very first time often take their fashion cues from TV shows. They should remember, however, that actors on TV are often styled far sexier than anyone working jobs in real life so the characters they play resonate with audiences.

“What works on Showtime or HBO may not convey the right kind of message in a real-life workplace,” Hallay said. “Astronauts embarking to far-off planets do not dress like Luke Skywalker, so young women entering the workforce shouldn’t take the skimpy skirts and plunging blouses they see on TV as their guide.”

And lest I be charged with being sexist once more, let me hasten to say this isn’t just about women and what’s age-appropriate. It’s about dressing in a manner that’s appropriate to the situation, and this includes men.

It may be OK for a guy to wear flip-flops and Bermuda shorts if he’s working at a Tiki bar, but should he wear them to a board meeting? And although 5 o’clock stubble looks great on George Clooney, does it communicate the same message when sported on a stockbroker or a doctor?

“Save that stubble for the weekends,” Hallay said. “We all use clothes to project our personalities, but just as a character in a movie or TV show will adapt their clothing depending on the scene, we should always be mindful of the scene we are in, and the audience we’re playing to.”

And whatever you do, guard against, how shall I say this, imitating millennials.

They grew up with a different set of rules regarding clothing, where sexiness equates to fashionable, and where any suggestion that what they wear to work might not be appropriate is met with accusations of sexism.

“Older women with excellent qualifications and 30 years of experience are being overlooked in favor of a 20-something girl with 500 Instagram followers,” Hallay said.

The climate today recalls the 1960s, when youth itself was the most desirable quality a person could bring to their job, with older people of both genders feeling pushed out and left behind by young, smart, fashionable kids who — by their very presence in a company — communicated that the company itself was “young, smart and fashionable,” Hallay said.

“But women over 40 need not feel the need to compete with girls in their 20s,” she said. “Taking the ’60s again as our example, the most important woman in ’60s fashion was not Twiggy! It was Diana Vreeland, the legendary editor of Vogue.”

Vreeland embraced what was happening in youth culture, but did not try to be a part of it. And she certainly didn’t dress in tiny, A-line mini-dresses. She developed her own, age-appropriate, signature style of an all-black wardrobe made up of beautifully cut capris, black sweaters, and black ballerina pumps, Hallay said. Her style was chic and appropriate, yet moreover, it spoke to her experience and gravitas.

“Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond have so much to offer, namely their experience and their talents,” she said. “She doesn’t have to ‘dress sexily’ to get noticed or be taken seriously at work or on the dating scene. Just dress in a way that’s taken seriously.

“This doesn’t mean boring or staid or corporate,” she said. “It can be just as interesting and eye-catching as a micro-mini, a skinny dress, or 6-inch heels. Both generations have so much to bring to the table, and older women should bring their experience, wisdom, talents and individuality, and leave the miniskirts to those wonderful, vibrant millennials whose turn it is to have cold legs in winter!”

Works for me.