Becky Brickman of Atlanta said that when she and her husband, Gregg, committed to a life together, they knew it would be a tough road. She was raised in a strict Roman Catholic household, while Gregg had a basketball-themed bar mitzvah and regularly attended Hebrew classes. Both faced opposition from parents and grandparents, but they were in love and that trumped everything, they believed.
“Then when our daughters came along, the conversations got even more intense, especially from people who didn’t even know us,” Becky Brickman said. “Everyone wanted to know if I was going to convert, which I considered, but I began to realize it was more about my perceived judgment from others and not my personal desire to convert.”
Both loved the beauty in their respective religions, so the couple concluded that combining the moral teachings, principles and traditions from both would help their two girls develop a tolerant and healthy form of spirituality.
The blending of their religious beliefs, which evolved over time, assumed special significance this weekend, as Passover began at sundown Friday and Easter is today.
The Brickmans also discovered they weren’t the only Christian and Jewish family in Atlanta that wanted to mingle elements of their religions for their children’s benefit.
Last year, Brickman and her friend Amy Lee started a tradition for their two families called “Eastover,” a marriage of a typical Easter dinner and Passover Seder.
Again this year, it started with an Easter egg hunt for the children at sundown Saturday and was followed by a reading of the Haggadah, the Jewish text that tells the story of the Exodus of the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt.
“Last year we used ‘The 30–Minute Seder,’” explained Lee, who is Jewish but married to a Lutheran. “The funny thing is that it took about two hours. We found the non-Jews asking a ton of questions and the Jews reminiscing about their own traditions. It’s a lot of fun.”
Becky Brickman, a registered dietitian at Gwinnett Medical Center, felt like an island in a sea of confusion before she met Lee. But when her oldest daughter, Sage, 4, enrolled in preschool at Morningside Day Out, she found a kindred spirit in Lee, whose daughter Alice, 5, also attended the school.
“We are so lucky to have met at this stage in life. After a couple of brief conversations, we realized that we had a lot in common and a lot to share,” Lee said from the kids’ table in her sunny Candler Park home. Her children, Alice and 3-year-old Reece, were hosting Brickman’s two girls, Sage and Sena, 3. Lee’s good-natured golden doodle Gus was seated beneath the children’s feet, which brushed his soft fur as they wiggled in their chairs.
Like Brickman, Lee faced many tough decisions regarding her own faith and embracing the traditions of her Lutheran husband, as well as the raised eyebrows of her family.
“My husband was worried that if we had children, I would want them raised as religiously as I was,” explained Lee. “I am more concerned with the kids knowing about their religion as well as other religions. I want them to know the traditions beyond the commercial aspects. I work very hard to make Jewish traditions as special and as prominent in our house as Christmas and Easter.”
For their “Eastover” dinner, Brickman prepares a traditional Easter salad. Lee will then serve matzo ball soup followed by a brisket cooked by Brickman’s husband, who is also a chef. Once the meal is completed, there is the afikoman, which means dessert, and is represented by pieces of matzo (unleavened bread) hidden during the Seder. The kids hunt for the afikoman, and the one who finds it receives a prize.
The kids also participate in “Eastover” preparations. On a day last month, they were busy making Easter bunnies out of lollipops and pipe cleaners. Occasionally, they asked advice about their creations and seemed excited about what they were doing.
“I love the traditions of my faith,” Amy Lee said as she glued together a bunny ear, perhaps a new “Eastover” tradition for her children.
Respect for beliefs
Though there wasn’t a special name for it, Anastasia Fink, an art teacher at North Druid Hills High School, remembers her “blended” holidays in New York with great fondness. Her father was raised a Conservative Jew, but her mother was a Catholic. She and her younger brother enjoyed hunting for Easter eggs in their backyard and then later for the afikoman at the house of her grandparents, who were strict Orthodox Jews.
“If you found the afikoman, there was always a prize,” Fink recalled. “My grandfather would give a prize of a bag full of half-dollar coins that he had collected throughout the year from going over the George Washington Bridge to work, his change from the toll booth.”
But what Fink remembers most is the special times she shared with her family and friends. She didn’t know that they were different, just that she loved them. Now as a teacher, she enjoys learning about her students’ plans and traditions.
“I like to hear how excited my students get for the holidays and love to hear about holidays I’m not so familiar with, like Ramadan and others,” she said. “It’s interesting to hear my students talk about each other’s religions, I think they are all pretty respectful of each other’s beliefs and I find comfort in that.”
Brickman and Lee agreed that the religious teachings fostered by their families are already having an effect on the kids, even though their children are young and they don’t take them to church or synagogue on a regular basis. If the children want to learn about other religions later in life, they will support those decisions, too.
“We’re not trying to be anti-establishment or offend anyone,” said Becky Brickman.
Brickman and Lee said celebrating both Easter and Passover is a way to think globally, but act locally and be more accepting of all cultures.
This year, two other interfaith families joined their “Eastover” celebration.
“We’re only trying to teach our children morals and values,” said Lee. “We hope that what we’re doing will help them want to learn more about other people. It’s a little short-sighted to think that everyone thinks and believes the same thing. I think the thing I learned the most growing up Jewish in the South was that tolerance and knowledge make for a more exciting and worldly person.”
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