CBS wants viewers who tune into the Grammys Sunday to see the stars.
It is however hoping viewers don't see all of the stars.
The network issued the the 55th Grammys' Standard And Practice Wardrobe advisory, according to Deadline.com.
“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.”
No bare naughty bits or exposed breast?
It seems CBS doesn’t want anyone to have any fun.
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What will people talk about Monday if everyone’s secret places are safely tucked away?
A genital free Grammy is a noble goal, but I do not suspect today’s stars are going to following CBS’ recommendations to a ‘T.’
On the contrary, I think celebs will follow the rules to a very, very deep ‘V’ cuts.
Perhaps it is a sign of the times that an advisory has to be written explaining to adults that it is inappropriate to show reproduction organs and mammary glands on national broadcast television.
That said, CBS would be best to have a supply of cloth sacks on hand.
Basically-naked celebrities at award shows is now a way of life and far from a new trend.
Cher was showing up places virtually naked long before most of today’s starlets were twinkles in their parents’ Nether regions.
If history and Lil’ Kim’s outfit at the 1999 MTV awards have taught us anything, it is that many stars tend to gravitate towards outfits that will draw the wrong type of attention.
That sort of attention can be a very right things to one building or hoping to sustain an entertainment career.
R&B singer Toni Braxton famous wore a white Richard Tyler near-dress to the Grammys in 2001.
Pink twirled around in sparkly heels and a body suit very close to the color of her flesh during a soaking wet 2010 Cirque du Soleil-like Grammys routine.
Singer Jennifer Lopez is basically naked where ever she goes.
Remember how the tropical Versace dress she wore to the 42nd Grammy Awards in 2000 plunged, and plunged and plunged?
Take that long-sleeve silk Zuhair Murad gown J. Lo wore to this year’s Golden Globes as another example.
At 150 months pregnant, Singer M.I.A. wore a sheer polka-dotted number to the Grammys in 2009.
Shania Twain looked like a dominatrix in the outfits she preformed in at the ceremony a decade before. The microphone stand might as well have been a whip.
One can go on and on an on about the celebrities that have pushed double-sided tape and perhaps chicken wire to their very limits.
This is why I call hogwash.
If CBS really cared about public decency rules, it would air the Grammy at 3:30 a.m. on a Tuesday. Either that or it can invite only accountants.
What do you think? Is CBS’ no exposed ‘breasts, buttocks or genitals’ at Grammys rules fair, just or likely to be followed?
Contact this blogger at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth
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