A guilty, uneven pleasure

8 p.m. Wednesdays-Fridays. 8:30 p.m. Saturdays. 5 p.m. Sundays. Through Nov. 16. $20-$30. Horizon Theatre, 1083 Austin Ave., Little Five Points. 404-584-7450.

Bottom line: It won't be a sin to miss this Christian-rock riff.

And the Good Lord said: It's time to anoint thy hair with product, gird thy loins with pleather, wear bling for the King and dance to the glory of sweet pop music.

Such are the commandments of "Altar Boyz," a candy-coated pop music pastiche that preaches the power of love and diversity while gently poking fun at Christian rock, sexual abstinence and the irreconcilable nature of young lust and Catholic theology.

Newly installed at Horizon Theatre, the long-running off-Broadway hit promises, and often delivers, a baptism of laughter and pure silliness, thanks to the ridiculous swagger of one Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan and Abraham.

They are the members of the fictional rock sensation the Altar Boyz, which is closing its "national tour" with a sweaty Atlanta gig.

As directed by Horizon's Jeff Adler, "Altar Boyz" (book by Kevin Del Aguila, music and lyrics by Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker) is a guilty pleasure for the kind of theatergoers who can never really tell the difference between grape juice and the Eucharist.

OK. Not to be all holier than thou, but those who worship at the (pagan!) altar of Thespis will probably find this show a mixed blessing. Though this chorus of five is spirited and likeable, not every one of the heart throbs can sing and act at the same level, or find the appropriate satirical layers for the cheesy caricatures and broad stereotypes.

Is the music good? Of course not. But it does serve to tell the stories of token hottie Matthew (Josh Rhett Noble), token twink Mark (Kyle K. Haak), token Jewish boy Abraham (Andy Meeks), token Latin lothario Juan (Ricardo Aponte) and token brother-from-the-hood Luke (Ronve O'Daniel).

Mark's got a not-so-secret crush on group leader Matthew (wonderfully played by Noble), whose job it is to gloss over the various foibles of his Boyz. Even if Mark can't come out of the closet for his big "Epiphany" number, Haak never misses a chance to play up the sexual innuendo ("Rhythm in Me") and fey mannerisms.

As the Sony "Soul Sensor" mysteriously counts the numbers of audience members who are not saved, a task that keeps the nimble Boyz on their toes, we learn about Luke's rehab experience and hear Juan's "La Vida Eternal."

Noble and Haak are the best singers and actors in the bunch. O'Daniel makes up for his vocal deficiencies with his delicious comedic instincts. Meeks' character barely registers (although to be fair, Abraham is the least developed role in the lot). But the diminutive Aponte tries a bit too hard to deliver credible sexual fireworks, and his intentionally fake Spanish accent never rings true.

Apparently, there wasn't enough change in Horizon's collection plate to hire a live band (recorded music is directed by Bryan Mercer). Happily, choreographer Charles Bullock offers up a perfect platter of funk, disco and cheerleader cheese.

Even if "Altar Boyz" doesn't set your soul on fire, it may make your burden lighter. And tell me candidly, when's the last time you saw a Christian band make a stop in Little Five Points?