Access to this AJC content is brought to you by our sponsor, Wellstar
Most of us have had a bad relationship or two. It’s natural to crave companionship when you’re alone; it’s also natural to be a little gun-shy if you’ve been in relationships that didn’t work out.
If you are feeling reluctant to find love again, here are a few reasons why it’s worth the effort.
Love gives you energy. When you are with the right person, you feel like doing more not only for the person you love but also for yourself. You may find you wake up earlier in the morning and have more energy to do things during the day. You’ll want to do more on several levels.
Love makes you feel better. Even if you are in perfect health, having a loving person in your life makes everything sweeter. If you are dealing with some physical issues, love might give you what you need to get better. The knowledge that you are cared for makes you more comfortable and allows you to heal faster.
Love enhances creativity. The greatest poems and music have been inspired by love. We want not only to express our depth of feeling but also to find ways of doing it that will motivate others. When you express your love in creative ways, everyone wins and enjoys the results.
Love makes you feel validated. When you are not feeling deeply connected with another being in the world, it may feel like your life doesn’t count for much. You do count — no matter what’s going on or who’s in your life — but the feeling is understandable. Many people experience this, especially if they have been alone for a while. The validation we receive from love is simple; love reminds us we are not all alone and we have a partner who believes in us and will be there for us.
Love helps you grow. I believe we grow more when we are in relationships than when we are alone. When you have a caring mate who reflects back things that help you be the best person you can be, it is quite a gift. Just remember that any feedback you give your partner has to be delivered kindly.
Love makes you want to do nice things. Love has a way of making you feel generous. When you feel good inside, you can’t avoid having a little overflow. Of course, you want to do lovely things for your other half, but you may also find that you want to give more to those in need because you want to share that wonderful feeling.
Being alone may be a choice that works for you. If you want love in your life, however, and don’t have it, don’t be disheartened. I have known hundreds of people who thought they would never find love and then they did. You can be one of them; just don’t give up on finding love or on yourself.
Barton Goldsmith is a licensed psychotherapist, and an award-wining writer and humanitarian. He is the author of eight books and speaks to audiences all over the world. He works with individuals and couples via video or in person, and can be reached at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.
About the Author