The quarterly Executive Committee meeting of Men Without Majors was called to order late Saturday afternoon.
They had a quorum, although Rickie Fowler was not on hand. He has now missed the past two weekend gatherings, here at Oakmont and Augusta. Someone should at least file a missing-person report. With his wardrobe, he shouldn’t be hard to find.
Let the minutes show that present were three leading professionals from the U.S. and Europe who have gone to the greatest lengths to avoid winning a first major golf title: Dustin Johnson, Sergio Garcia and Lee Westwood.
As always, each had come to petition for expulsion, knowing full well that it is harder to get out of Men Without Majors than it is the Mafia.
Their opening arguments commenced later than usual, with the third round of the U.S. Open pushed back because of rains that washed out a good part of Thursday’s first round. They were destined to be incomplete.
As the second-round leader (at 4 under) and the presumptive most physically talented player in the Open field, Johnson was the one to be taken the most seriously. This guy has all the physical tools. He can even dunk a basketball, which will come in really handy when they begin suspending the hole 10 feet above the green.
At 31, Johnson has turned not winning majors into an art form, most lately three-putting from 12 feet at Chambers Bay last year to avoid the U.S. Open.
But don’t undersell the other two. They have earned their place of leadership within the group. Just this year at the Masters, Westwood got himself within one shot of playing partner (and eventually champion) Danny Willett. Then promptly bogeyed the par-3 16th. Westwood has 11 top-5 finishes in the majors, but no cigars.
And Garcia had become so disenchanted with his own performance in the majors that he once was moved to say, “I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to play for second or third place.” A four-time major runner-up — his first time 17 years ago at the tender age of 19 — he tried to walk back those words. But that kind of sentiment tends to be written in quick drying cement.
All three came to Saturday’s third round of the Oakmont Open under par and thus well-positioned to revoke their membership in MWM.
Saturday would be a particularly telling day for Johnson. His penchant for showing off when it matters least is written on the PGA Tour statistics. He ranks first in first-round scoring average, third in the second round. And yet is 77th and 57th on the weekend rounds.
He birdied the first hole of his third round to go 5 under, and push his lead to two strokes. Then hit his next tee shot off a customer’s cranium and under a concession tent. Watching Johnson is never dull. His game contains so many explosions and exaggerations that Quentin Tarantino should be his caddie. Earlier in this tournament, he had a streak of 25 consecutive greens in regulation — but that’s not really him.
Case in point: The little chip on No. 3 that caught the wrong slope of the green and rolled back past his feet, farther from the hole than when it began. And thus did he begin giving back strokes to par.
Meanwhile, elsewhere among the Men Without Majors, Garcia did not make a strong initial case, three-putting his first hole and doing little to else to make amends.
Westwood was making the splashiest presentation. For the second time in three days Saturday, he holed out from the fairway for eagle. Not shabby at all for a 43-year-old who went winless in 2015, enduring a difficult divorce and inklings that the game had passed him by.
By the time it got too dark to play anymore, and the street lights of the borough of Oakmont flickered, our three leaders of the Men Without Majors were still so very much alive in this particular major. Johnson, Garcia and Westwood all 2 under, looking up to the lead of Ireland’s Shane Lowry (5 under).
How will one of them not possibly win this time? What will prevent them from breaking the bonds of their sad club and changing the narrative of their careers? Something involving a meteor or a lightning bolt from a cloudless sky or hungry coyotes is not out of the question.
Of more concern is that a ranking member of that other prestigious organization — Men With Majors — just took an elevator up the leaderboard. Jason Day shot 66 on Saturday and went to bed with only five players between himself and the lead.
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