Obviously you don’t have to be the same person as your partner, nor should you be, but it’s unreasonable to think you don’t have to bring something similar to the table.
Even then, however, keep in mind that does not mean you are entitled to a certain type of person, even if you believe you have it all. As in, just because you make a lot of money, it doesn’t entitle you to someone else with this level of success. You made that money for yourself, not to earn a partner.
In the end, if it’s something you are looking for, I would like you to think to yourself, “Is this something I also offer?” Or, “Would the person I’m looking for want to date me?” That question usually hits home for people. And if the answer is no, then what can you do on your end to improve that to make sure the person you’re looking for isn’t a reach but rather an equal?
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating.