In a meeting room overlooking the exhibit floor of the Super Bowl Experience, a group of former players made a bit of NFL history this week as they spoke about life after coming out as gay.
The league has hosted eight “High Five” events that help foster connections between professional athletes and LGBTQ young people through motivational talks and candid discussions. But Wednesday’s gathering was the first to be held in conjunction with the Super Bowl.
Esera Tuaolo played on the defensive line for the Packers and the Vikings and was part of the Falcons' 1998 team that went to the Super Bowl. Nicknamed "Mr. Aloha," he told the group about the healing power of honesty and acceptance. He said afterward he kept his sexual identity a secret throughout his career and even after retiring in 2000.
“It’s very crippling,” he recalled of those days. “No one knew.”
He has spent several years speaking to young people as part of the NFL's partnership with the You Can Play Project, which sponsors the "High Five" initiative. The non-profit organization fosters acceptance and inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people in sporting events and activities.
Tuaolo and his partner decided to come out after having children. They were tired of lying, and it was difficult to raise their twins, a boy and girl, while denying the truth about their family.
“We also wanted our kids to know that their dads were proud of themselves,” he said.
On Wednesday, about 40 clients of CHRIS 180, an Atlanta non-profit that provides housing, counseling and other services for at-risk populations, gathered in a circle of chairs and listened to the former players. Afterward, they had dinner and explored the Super Bowl Experience.
“It’s really an indicator of just how sincere the NFL is in hosting a High Five at their biggest event of the year,” said Ryan Pettengill, You Can Play’s executive director.
Four former players, three of whom identify as gay or bisexual, were in attendance. At one point in the discussion, Tuaolo turned the tables as asked the young people gathered around him what the NFL can do better to support them and the mission of You Can Play.
Jaylon Couch lives in transitional housing in East Atlanta sponsored by CHRIS 180 and is making his way as a 23-year-old gay man in Atlanta. He said that young people need to hear from LGBTQ adults beyond coming out stories, so that they can hear about how life turned out okay afterward.
“We kind of want to follow your journey a little bit more and see that,” he told the players.
Couch grew up in Florida but made his way to Atlanta after his father kicked him out of the house when he was 16. Couch has always been confident in living his truth, but he said it was reassuring to hear from the former players about how they navigate life.
“To see people who walk in my shoes and understand it and to talk about how their life has been successful living in their truth, it’s just inspiring,” he said.
