Right next door, Alabamans, when they aren’t searching for God, also search for Jesus, Fox News, impeach Obama, Obama is the Antichrist, Jessica Simpson, Satan and polka.
Like any family reunion, it’s difficult to say who is crazier, but polka probably gives Alabama the win.
Texas, which really should have been allowed to leave the U.S., is curious if dinosaurs are real, if zombies are real, if Chupacabra is real and does the burning sensation felt while urinating mean herpes is real? Like most voters, they also want to know more about government mind control, stewing up meth and purple drank and how to sell one’s soul to the devil.
The people of Tennessee, who should be searching for a competent dentist, were only interested in Elvis.
Florida, like many readers of this blog, want to know the definition of sarcasm and more about alligator wrestling (that should be wrassling), Botox, eyebrow piercing, MDMA (aka ecstasy), Viagra, swingers and lice.
The South hasn’t cornered the market on weird, however.
Idaho, a magical place I must now visit, wants to know more about potatoes, Bigfoot and unicorns.
Alaska, being cold and perhaps a bit lonely, is looking for mail order brides, bestiality and Sarah Palin.
The most boring place in America? Maybe Delaware, where residents frequently ask “What is Delaware?”
Hmmmm… that sounds like a place that needs a swift kick to the butt implant.