Driving too slow in the fast lane on an interstate: A two-week ban on freeway driving. If you can’t understand that slower traffic needs to keep right, you don’t belong on the highway. A two-week penalty for the first offense, a full month for every infraction thereafter.
Not wearing your seat belt: If you are caught not wearing your safety belt (this includes if you are a passenger in the front seat) you must wear a fanny pack and a cellphone clip on your belt for one full week.
Not turning your headlights on in the rain: If you do not turn on your headlights in the rain you will be mandated, for a period of one month, to have all the windows in your vehicle completely rolled down when driving. Through rain or shine, all of your windows must be down. Hopefully if it does rain during this month, the water pouring into your vehicle will be a reminder to turn your headlights on.
Putting on makeup while driving: If you are caught putting makeup on while behind the wheel you will be forbidden to wear any makeup for five business days. No lipstick, lip gloss, eyeliner, rouge, eyeshadow, foundation or mascara.
Texting while driving: If you are caught texting while driving, you will be forced to text a nude selfie to every contact in your phone. I think this would put a stop to texting and driving pretty quickly.
Any suggestions for other offenses? I’d love to read them.