Quick, how do we all disguise ourselves as Labradoodles for two days?
Proving once and for all that four-legged and furry is the optimal way to go, a deluxe dog food truck is headed to metro Atlanta.
No, not a dog food truck, like the kind that delivers Alpo to Kroger.
A dog … food truck.
“They’re family and they share our lives,” a Milo’s Kitchen spokeswoman explained via email. “So don’t they deserve a treat that lives up to the high standards we set for the rest of our loved ones?”
Uh, what family was she raised in, the Rockefellers?
The California-based doggy “treats” company recently decided it’s no longer enough for us humans to walk, bathe, feed and outfit our canine companions in ridiculous holiday sweaters. Now we also have to drive them to one of three locations this weekend so “they” can stand on line for free food from the Milo’s Kitchen Treat Truck.
On Saturday, the truck is scheduled to be at Lenora Park in Snellville from 7:30 to 9:30 a.m. and at Ronald Reagan Park in Lawrenceville from 2 to 4 p.m. (Check @MilosKitchen on Twitter for any last-minute route changes.) On Sunday, it sets up at Turner Field, where the Braves play the Oakland A's in a night game that's also one of the Atlanta ballclub's popular "Bark in the Park" events.
Fans and Fidos all need tickets for the game. But the truck will be outside the stadium from 6 to 11 p.m., dispensing Chicken Meatballs, Grilled Burger Bites and other Milo’s Kitchen treats to even the snootiest, most baseball-despising chihuahua that sashays by.
Yes, the 12-state tour is an obvious marketing stunt by the company, but that’s not what’s so annoying about it.
It’s the way it makes food trucks for human beings totally pale by comparison.
Seriously, we have to line up in the broiling hot sun just to pay for our own fish tacos! Meanwhile, the Treat Truck offers a backyard-style “lapdog lounge” and a professional “canine-ready” photo booth where its select clientele can snap “doggie selfies.”
And where the rest of us — jealous though we may be — definitely should think twice before photobombing that Rottweiler.
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