I’m hopelessly behind.

I don’t have to go far to confirm and reinforce my theory. It’s as close as my computer, where years ago I joined Facebook.

Facebook, where I post pictures of my life, links that I love, stay connected with “friends,” most of whom I don’t really know.

Sounds like a huge time investment.

It is.

Sometimes sucks time out of my day like an airplane door opening at 35,000 feet. And is often about as useful as that, too.

No matter, for I came to find out simply being on Facebook wasn’t enough.

So, I signed up for Twitter.

More, they said. OK, I added a second public Facebook page.

“More! More! More!” the media experts yelled like an over caffeinated toddler on the merry go-round. “Spin me faster, faster, faster!”

OK, OK, OK! I can do this! I can be hip, modern, connected!

I have my website, DarynKagan.com, my blog page on WordPress.

Go visual! Sign up for Instagram!

Go crafty! Pin on Pinterest!

Go professional! Make sure you’re LinkedIn.

What about the young people? You’ll find them on SnapChat.

Is it just me, or does it seem the more you sign up for, the more they tell you you’re not with it?

And don’t get me started on passwords.

Surely, somewhere deep in Silicon Valley there is a convention of evil Password Police snickering and conspiring to come up with rules that make you have a different password formula for each website, insuring only one thing — that you can’t remember any of them.

My question is, with all this social media I’m supposed to be on, how am I supposed to have time to be, uh, social?

Are you as equally unhip, behind and frustrated, Dear Reader?

Figuring there has to be a better way, off I went last week to a two-day seminar on Word Press, the blogging site.

“Word Camp” was my chance to find online peace, to consolidate, to get this thing down.

I have to say that I did learn a ton.

The price, besides the screaming deal of $40, was learning I’m also supposed to be posting video from my iPad every day and if I was a really good blogger, my site would’ve made $60,000 last month.

It didn’t. Shameful, I know.

Oh, had I considered rebuilding my website on WordPress.org instead of .com?

There’s a difference? Oh yes.

As big a divide as the popular and unpopular kids in my seventh-grade lunchroom. A divide I never did conquer, yet still turned out kinda OK.

So, this is me, throwing in the towel on trying to keep up with the popular online kids.

I’ll post what’ll I’ll post, when and where I choose to make time to post.

Otherwise, you’ll find me doing that thing.

I think they used to call it — living life.