Going cold-turkey and entirely avoiding temptation may seem like a good idea to nix cravings. But that’s not always the case.
What we avoid or pull away from will find us and often do more damage. What we confront head-on becomes known to us, and we quickly learn to beat it.
The right approach? Attack the problem head-on. Instead of forcing yourself to never to order dessert, (which could result in feeling deprived) start getting dessert every single time you eat out.
What is likely to happen is you’ll start not liking dessert as much. Many in the world of psychology call this the as-if principle. As humans, we are sometimes a little less sharp than we think we are. We tend to believe that we decide who we are and then take actions in line with that. Surprisingly, research shows that it works far more strongly in completely the other direction: When we see ourselves taking a particular action, our minds then decide what it means and justify why we are doing it.
Here are three exercises for building “skillpower,” from the easiest to the hardest.
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The 1-Fry Grab
If someone you often eat with loves to order French fries, allow yourself one fry off his or her plate. This technique also works with one bite of dessert or a small bite of chocolate. Many people who have successfully made weight management a lifestyle use this strategy.
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The 3-Bite Rule
This is a willpower exercise in which you order something solely for yourself, but limit the amount you eat. Maybe it’s a dessert, a side of onion rings, or potato chips. Whatever it is, don’t deprive yourself — just limit your intake.
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The Take-Home Challenge
Buy something you love, like a pizza, a huge chocolate bar, or a pint of ice cream, and bring it home with you. Then limit yourself to one serving until the next day, as a way to exhibit amazing diet self-control. This means that temptation will be sitting there, calling to you, and you must resist its urge. This one is the hardest, and when you master it you have finally become one of those people you envy: a person who seems to have an iron will (or skill).
One tip here: If you are overwhelmed by the urge to eat more, get out the take-home item. Look at it. Smell it. Feel it, and watch the urge well up in you and start to peak. Then surf it and let it fall and dissipate.
One study on women who were given boxes of chocolates to carry around with them all day showed how powerful this approach is. One group was told they should avoid the chocolates and try to use distraction techniques to keep from eating them, and the other group was told to take the chocolates out, smell and look at them, and engage with them. Guess who ended up eating the most chocolates? The group trying to use the old, worn-out method prescribed by the dieting dictators — sheer willpower. Avoidance and distraction make the urge come back to bite you harder.
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This story was adapted from “Lose Weight Here” and originally appeared on Rodale Wellness
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