No. 1: A jerk's actions don't match his words. A good guy will always follow through on what he tells you he's going to do. When he can't, he'll let you know and won't leave you trying to figure out what happened. If he's not doing this, he's not worthy of dating you.
No. 2: A jerk disappears then comes back then disappears again. This is a man hunting for what I call Shiny Penny Syndrome. He's looking for someone else he perceives might be a better fit than you. What makes him a jerk is when it doesn't work out, he comes back to you until he finds his next conquest.
No. 3: A jerk is a narcissist who wants his way in every situation. He'll manipulate you into doing what he wants to do even when you say NO. When you give in, you end up feeling like you betrayed yourself. A good guy will honor you when you say, "no."
No. 4: A jerk treats service people poorly. If he takes you to his favorite restaurant and his meal shows up wrong, he'll blast the poor waiter with his anger. This guy often displays road rage as well. A good guy knows things can go awry and gives someone a chance to correct it.
No. 5: A jerk takes you to a party and leaves you at the door to fend for yourself. A good guy will introduce you to the people he knows in the room and will make sure you're taken care of with food, drinks and people to talk to.
No. 6: A jerk only cares about having his needs met. Your needs fall far below his on the priority list. A good guy is into pleasing you and making you happy. If he's not, let him go.
No. 7: A jerk is usually passive aggressive. If you're trying to work an issue out, he'll act like everything is okay. Get with other people and he'll bad mouth your decision looking for confirmation from others that he's right. A good guy will work issues out with you and even if he disagrees with the final decision, he will keep it to himself.
No. 8: A jerk asks you for a date but doesn't call to confirm whether it's happening. You end up calling him and he holds your life up, telling you he's not sure how long his meeting is going to be. A good guy will make sure you have the details for your date including the time, place and when he'll pick you up or meet you. Then he shows up or else if he's running late, he'll call you.
No. 9: A jerk makes all the decisions for both of you, thinking he knows what's best for you. No one knows you better than you and a good guy will make sure your feelings and thoughts are part of the decision process.
No. 10: A jerk doesn't make sure you feel emotionally, physically or spiritually safe. You may feel financially safe with him but that's not enough. He'll be the one criticizing what you wear or how you do things. A good guy may offer constructive criticism but does so in a loving way that encourages your personal growth.
Lisa Copeland, "The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!" Find out more at Findaqualityman.com
(c)2016 Lisa Copeland, findaqualityman.com.
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