Death is one topic folks studiously avoid. Mention the word at a cocktail party, and people will scurry away from you to refresh their drinks.
Ironically, in funeral homes, the dead have rouge on their cheeks and color on their lips — which I guess is fitting in a society that calls funerals “celebrations of life.” We’ve come to a point where a sad event is now considered a festivity.
In my childhood, relatives avoided referring to death, preferring instead to whisper, “If something should happen to me.” When my nephew was a little boy and his hamster died, his parents bought a new one rather than tell him.
The child didn’t realize a switch had been made, although years later, he admitted wondering why his pet had suddenly nipped him.
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble, 40, has a mission in life, which is encouraging people to face their own inevitable deaths. An article in The New York Times spotlighted the lady who wants to revive the practice of “memento mori,” which is Latin for “Remember your death.”
She belongs to the Daughters of St. Paul, a Catholic religious order founded in 1915 by an Italian priest, who kept a skull nearby as a reminder of his mortality.
A former atheist, Sister Aletheia wrote in her Twitter account @pursuedbytruth: “Everyone dies, their bodies rot, and every face becomes a skull....This is the jarring reality. And with Christ, this reality is imbued with hope.”
Some may protest it’s unhealthy to dwell on death, but it means facing facts. At some point our lives will end, so why not ask the big questions now?
What shall we be remembered for? What changes should we make today? Most of all, is our way of life the path to heaven?
My husband and I rarely talked about death, and after he died, I felt lost, wishing we’d discussed the topic. But I recall asking him whether he thought I’d one day see my parents again.
“I know you will!” he said without hesitation.
Our society runs from the reality of death and is obsessed with youth, as shown by ads touting plastic surgery, fitness crazes and starvation diets. “Rejuvenating” creams suggest a return to firm, glowing skin, while “miracle” bathing suits promise youthful figures.
Some people avoid making out a will, because that means acknowledging the inevitable — but why should believers fear death?
Death isn’t the end of existence, but rather the doorway into another world. After all, Christ said it clearly: “He who believes in me, though he may die, he shall live.”
For people who don’t believe in God, death means total obliteration, which does seem terrifying. What then was the point of living? What was the meaning of it all?
Belief in God provides meaning and direction for our lives, and removes the terror from dying. Saint Paul said: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for them that love him.”
“Memento mori” is a good slogan to live by. It underscores how precious each day is — and reminds us we have an expiration date, known only to God.
Lorraine’s books include the Francesca Bibbo mysteries, available online. Her email is lorrainevmurray@yahoo.com
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