Let’s start with the snubs.
Kendrick Lamar, 0 for 7.
Drake, 0 for 5.
Taylor Swift, 0 for 4.
Not really what many would have predicted heading into the 56th Annual Grammy Awards.
Lamar, especially, was poised to finally break the Grammys’ habit of heaping praise on a rapper but then not delivering the payoff trophy.
Hey, maybe Kanye West does have a point, for once, about the Grammys refusing to recognize rappers in major categories.
But at least Lamar can take solace in the knowledge that he, along with Imagine Dragons, provided the adrenaline shot to the heart that Sunday’s Grammy Awards desperately needed with a sizzling performance that tops the three most noteworthy of the show. (Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr performing together and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, along with Mary Lambert, Trombone Shorty, Madonna and Queen Latifah, round out the rest of the best.)
Let’s look at some of the high (and low) lights of Sunday’s affair.
Best Rihanna impression: Beyonce's opening number, "Drunk in Love," was meant to be sultry and erotic. Instead, she looked like a modern-day Jennifer Beals waiting for a bucket of water to be dumped on her as she writhed, "Flashdance"-style, then did a bump and grind routine against husband Jay Z, who, despite his natty tux, looked a tad uncomfortable. Face it, if Rihanna or Miley Cyrus had turned out such a smutty, class-less performance, they'd be crucified on the Internet. But because it's Beyonce, we're supposed to ooh and ahh at her awesomeness? Sorry. Not this time.
Best Shtick That Has Officially Gotten Old: Daft Punk and those dopey robot suits. Guys, you won five Grammy Awards. Have a little respect for the organization and act like human beings and address the audience instead of hiding under your Darth Vader hoods to maintain your so-called mystique. Guess what? Nobody cared when KISS took off their makeup and nobody cares what you look like. There is no mystique. It's just stupid.
Article of Clothing Most Worthy of a Hashtag: Pharrell Williams' Ranger Rick hat. Or was it a cloth facsimile of the Arby's logo? Either way, the usually fashion-forward Williams looked ridiculous. But he got people talking (raising hand now), so well played, sir. Just let us know when the raccoon you're hoarding under there is finally set free.
The Honorary Randy Jackson "That Was Pitchy Dawg" Award: Oh, Hunter Hayes. Your new song, "Invisible," is so well-meaning (and so not country). And you sang it with such conviction … in about 13 different keys, sometimes all in the same verse. Consider this his Taylor Swift/Stevie Nicks Grammy moment.
Most Surprisingly Great Performances: Speaking of Swift, her piano ballad "All Too Well," which swelled into an awesome hair-thrasher, exemplified how far she's come as a vocalist since that 2010 debacle with Nicks. Excellent choice to skip the elaborate production number this year.
Also, John Legend, who is usually so somber and pensive that he’s an outright bore, was instead tender and romantic with his presentation of “All of Me.”
Most Unsurprisingly Great Performance: The like-minded Carole King and protege of sorts Sara Bareilles performing a piano-heavy mashup of King's classic "Beautiful" and the young Bareilles' infectious "Brave." Even though she lost album of the year (and really, did anyone think she had a chance?), Bareilles had to be thrilled with the opportunity for this terrific pairing.
Are the '90s Cool Again and I Missed the Memo? I was so distracted by Keith Urban's bizarrely layered hairdo — and its shocking resemblance to Goo Goo Dolls frontman John Rzeznik — that I couldn't even concentrate on his fine guitar work with Gary Clark Jr. during "Cop Car." Which is where this bird's nest belongs. In the backseat. Handcuffed.
Are the '70s Cool Again and I Missed the Memo? OK, one pornstache is skeevy enough, especially when boasted by a 30-something. Yes, Nate Ruess, we're talking to you. But the skeeve-o-meter exploded when Grandpa Tyler debuted his Dr. Fu Manchu look at the end of the show. No. Just, no.
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