Not today.
This will forevermore be my motto on Valentine’s Day.
None for me, thanks.
I’ve been married seven years and put off any extra-special love fests for when it really is just my wife and I celebrating it.
For some of us, there’s just not enough one-on-one love to go around – that is, unless somebody expects to share their love of jewelry, chocolate, flowers and greeting cards. And not to mention the emotional wounds Valentine’s Day inflicts on many single people.
Consumer advice guru and AJC contributor Clark Howard doesn’t ascribe to my acerbic attitude toward Valentine’s Day, but he does agree with rescheduling your celebration lest you pay more trying to squeeze all the love into one day.
“Roses cost more,” Howard said. “Chocolate costs more. Restaurants get booked up with Valentine’s Day specials.”
He suggested buying your roses from grocery stores and moving your date-night to a different day … maybe a week earlier or later.
“Everybody wins if you spread that peak demand out,” Howard said. “Doing things in advance saves money and it wins you points for thinking ahead.”
While he makes good sense, I’m less concerned about being thrifty and more focused on reining in what can, at times, be a selfish pursuit.
First, I’m not going to let a holiday dictate how I love my woman.
Second, I loathe the thought of a society that trains my daughter to anticipating a singular day because it triggers some tangible show of affection (i.e. gift) from a potential suitor or significant other.
Worse, I would hate to think of her dreading the same day because her relationship status isn’t on par with her peers who are being showered by gifts.
Again, Howard offered sage advice, and this time from beyond the realm of consumerisms.
“If it forces guys to, for one day of the year, be romantic, it can’t be bad,” he said. “We’re just not wired that way.”
Good point.
But I believe that anyone, who truly loves another won’t need to be bound to a day to express how they feel.
When my wife complains about my stance on Valentine’s Day, she often reminds me that one of our first dates was on a Feb. 14, many years before we were wed.
I invited her over and made fettuccini with rock shrimp, and was so nervous, I forgot to peel and devein the seafood.
She was amused, but there was no love connection.
Years later, after I’d freed myself from the burden of calendar-induced love and explained my reasons, promising to give her another day all to herself, she agreed to marry me.
Go figure.
Now, I invite you to join me, whether just to save money or to reduce the power we’ve given to Valentine’s Day, and on social media and in the public commit to saying #nottoday.
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