This is part 2 of hiring processes.

Job candidates, I have a question for you: Do you ever feel like the hiring process is all take and no give? Does it seem like the employer is just toying with you or worse, barely knows you exist?

If you’re nodding your head, you have lots of company. Frustration with hiring processes is hardly a new phenomenon, so you’d think people would be used to it by now. On the other hand, if the process has been frustrating for so long, why hasn’t somebody improved it?

Oh, wait – it has been improved. If you’re an employer, that is. The convergence of advanced technology with the recent recession has brought forth an astonishing array of services to help companies manage an ever-more-cumbersome employment process. Now there are services and software for everything from reference checking to social media searches (to find hidden dirt on an applicant) to candidate testing to video interviewing systems to ever-more-sophisticated versions of our old friend, the online application.

Ironically, the more process we layer onto this already burdened situation, the less communication we seem to foster. After all this, candidates are still left in the lurch on the most basic point of etiquette: They’re not hearing back from the employer, sometimes even after being interviewed.

Indeed, I’ve known candidates who have gone through multiple interviews only to encounter a wall of silence, unbreachable by candidate calls, letters or emails pleading to know their status. Most aggravating of all? Seeing the job re-posted, still without word to the candidates who already interviewed. Or no – even more aggravating yet is seeing the job re-posted ahead of your scheduled interview. As Kevin Sorbo’s “Hercules” character used to say when encountering a bad omen, “This can’t be good.”

In last week’s column, I chided employers for hiring processes that demand ever more from the candidate while returning even less in terms of feedback. I also offered a short set of tips to help companies improve their processes. This week’s tips are for job seekers who find themselves stuck in these difficult situations.

1. Don't obsess. Once you've attempted contact a few times, you've done about as much as you can. If they want to offer you a job they'll find you. At some point, you have to accept that silence is apparently their way of communicating, however unprofessional it might be.

2. Try delaying some steps until after an offer is made. This is crazy, but what if you were to answer an employer's request for a sample presentation or personality testing with, "I'd be happy to do that, excited even. But it will involve an investment of time on my part. I'd like to propose that we discuss an offer first, but make that offer contingent on the results of the (sample work, test, etc.). That way we'll know we're on the same page and your interests will still be protected in case you don't get the results you need from the process." I can't be sure this would work, but it does address the imbalance resulting from candidates doing time-intensive steps without any assurance of their status in the process.

3. Don't ask why you weren't hired. If you are communicating with an interviewer after being rejected, count yourself lucky. Don't jinx the communication by implying, even unintentionally, that they had better have a good reason for not hiring you. The experienced interviewer will shy from questions that could open them to employment lawsuits.

If you really want feedback, try this approach: “I appreciate that you’ve gotten back to me on this, even if the news is disappointing. What feedback can you share that might help me improve my interviews with other employers?” Or, “Which skills do you think I should hone to be a better candidate for other employers?” The specificity of the questions and the focus on skill improvement will give your interviewer more room to safely advise you.

4. Move on, but don't forget. I don't advocate holding a grudge, but neither should you fall for the same trick twice with the same company. If someone contacts you later to interview again, don't hesitate to control the situation more than you normally would. For example: "Yes, I'd be delighted to meet with you but I had some difficulty maintaining communication in the last round. How can I can stay abreast of the process this time? Perhaps you could share your mobile number with me?"

Getting the number is no guarantee that they’ll answer your calls, but politely making the point is a start in the right direction. Whether you get the offer or not, you’ll feel better if you are able to call more of the shots.