When your co-worker self-promotes to manager

While this could be the setup for a hilarious sitcom sketch, the real-life effects are more troubling, especially for the “underling” worker who has to fend off the other worker’s grab for power. In my clients’ lives, the self-proclaimed “managers” may assert authority by asking for time-wasting reports, justification for decisions and representation at meetings the pseudo-manager would prefer not to attend.

The results can range from slight irritation to a host of workplace problems, especially if the innocent party actually tries to appease these demands. Worse, the self-proclaimed manager may come to be seen as the de facto manager by other team members and even by the boss, who may mistake bullying for leadership.

I experienced a mild but annoying form of this phenomenon early in my career, when I didn’t understand office politics well enough to feel threatened. As the manager of an off-site team, I must have looked vulnerable when my lonely little desk was placed in the midst of a peer’s bustling team of on-site workers.

The temptation for this officious young boss was obviously too much, and he started including me in edicts on everything from dress code to timesheets. When the no-gum-chewing rule came down, I snapped. Although I had never chewed gum at work, I began plowing through daily packs of Dubble Bubble until he finally admitted defeat.

While I’ve matured enough to see that my gum-snapping was passive-aggressive, I maintain a commitment to the basic principle: Only your boss gets to boss you. Everyone else has to ask nicely, acknowledge your contribution, and return the favor when you lend a hand. To enforce this basic workplace rule, I recommend looping your actual boss into each conversation related to a peer’s demand/request for your time.

For example, an email to your boss might say, “Just wanted you to know that Harvey has requested that I complete a report for him on last week’s event. I estimate it will take about two hours to complete. Is this something you want me to do? If so, please advise if there’s something else I can drop from my workload to accommodate Harvey’s request.”

Then CC Harvey and wait to see what happens -- but don’t do that report unless or until your boss approves it. This will require some stamina on your part, but whenever Harvey repeats his request, simply refer him to your email and tell him you’re awaiting direction from your boss.

You can expect Harvey to advance the game by calling you out in a meeting or other semipublic forum. For example, he might say, “We’d be further on this project, but we’re waiting for a report from Jackie.” To which you must be quick to reply, “I’m sorry to correct you, Harvey, but we’re actually waiting on our boss to share his priorities for my time this month. I’m sure if the report is critical to the project, he’ll approve it.”

For a lot of people, the idea of having to defend territory from a peer is nothing short of repugnant. These are folks who do not relish a fight and who dislike confrontations. It’s probably not coincidental that these are the people from whom I most often hear these stories. Somehow the marauding workers know who will fight back and who won’t.

If you fit this description, there are two reasons you shouldn’t give in without a fight. First, and most obviously, there’s no reason to think that the Harveys in your workplace will stop with just one demand. And second, even though this might not feel like good fortune, it’s actually a golden opportunity to learn a new set of coping skills.

A word of warning: It is actually possible that the Harvey in your life could squawk loud enough and often enough that your boss would eventually assign him to supervise you. Ouch. That’s not good, but perhaps it can provide the impetus you need to move on in your career. When the going gets tough, sometimes the tough just need to look for a different place to work.

Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul. She can be reached at alindgren@prototypecareerservice.com or at 626 Armstrong Ave., St. Paul, MN 55102.