Lately I’ve been joking that I’m becoming a career-counseling version of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the man with the dubious fame for the advocacy of assisted suicides.
I can’t say it’s a funny joke, but the analogy persists because I’ve been meeting with an unexpectedly high number of clients whom I want to encourage to quit their jobs -- with or without another job in hand.
In this market, could that be anything but career suicide? I tend to call it self-preservation, but then I’m not the one who would lose a paycheck.
Perhaps workplaces are harsher in this post-recession recovery, but I also think it’s possible I’m seeing people who would have already quit if the market had seemed more welcoming.
Some of these unhappy employees are doing the work of two, receiving reduced pay, suffering repeated rebuffs for promotion, or enduring an abusive boss.
Whatever the reason for a worker’s untenable situation, the fact seems to me almost indisputable: When a job is done, it’s time to move on. And when a job turns toxic, it’s time to flee.
How do you know when a job is over for you? I’d say that if a job is eating at your soul, it’s pretty much over. If you’re not getting the opportunity to learn, you’re probably done. And if you dread going to work, you really have to ask: Why would I want more of this?
I know my clients stay because they feel trapped, but I also know that sometimes they build the trap themselves, by repeating the (untrue) mantra, I’m stuck, I’m stuck.
So here are some of the arguments I use, just in case a client (or you) would benefit from another perspective.
1. Every year you stay at a job that’s over is a year stolen from the better job you could be doing instead. We only get so many years to work (endless though they can seem). To let years slip away in the service of a bad job is to lose those years in a better job.
2. If you’re in the twilight of your career already, you have to acknowledge: It won’t get easier next year to leave. The longer you stay, the longer you’re likely to stay.
3. People rarely say they left a job too early; they frequently say they stayed too long.
But perhaps this job can be saved? To explore this option, I advise asking: How can I improve this situation? And, if your boss is not recognizing your value, ask: How will my staying change his or her mind about me?
If your answers come back the same, if staying is unlikely to produce better results than you already have, again you have to ask: Why stay?
Supposing you decide to leave, the next questions become how, and when?
I have a bias that I know isn’t shared by many people. Whenever it seems remotely possible in terms of finances, I say leave that toxic job even without having another job. I know this is terrifying, and I respect that it wouldn’t be feasible for many people. But I have found that those who dawdle about leaving can extend that dawdling for years.
One classic delaying tactic is to decide to find another job first, and then never actually look. The familiar discomfort of a bad workplace can seem better than the unknown discomfort of a job search, so people stay. But if they were to quit first, job search would stop being a choice.
Crazy, I know. Let’s assume that most people won’t share my enthusiasm for jumping off buildings as a method to master flying. There are ways to make a slower, strategic exit from a job you dislike.
For example, you can develop a new skill, finish a degree, intensify your networking, start a side business, take a part-time job, or, at least, post your resume on job boards.
All of these things take time in an already crowded schedule, but here’s the bottom line: If you want out badly enough, you will make it happen.
One caution -- if you take one of these paths while still working, you might become too busy to notice how unhappy you are. This will help you tolerate the situation, but it can also lull you into staying. To avoid this, appoint someone as your dream keeper, to remind you that you are working toward a goal, and not just working. That should help you stay focused even on days when your determination falters.
Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul. She can be reached at alindgren@prototypecareerservice.com or at 626 Armstrong Ave., St. Paul, MN 55102.
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