Unofficial Business on bathroom business: potty politics and LGBT issues

It stems from the blurring of traditional views about gender and who’s a man and who’s a woman. It’s discomforting stuff for plenty of people. So is the worry that slimy, dangerous people will abuse any new system of bathroom access.

Of course, there’s also the growing realization that transgender people are, you know, people. Sometimes they need to visit public restrooms like everyone else. Telling them to “just hold it,” isn’t a workable solution.

So now we have another political firestorm and another reason for businesses to avoid states they see as hostile to LGBT employees.

North Carolina recently put in place a "bathroom law" that squashes local anti-discrimination ordinances and requires people to only enter government bathrooms matching the gender on their birth certificate, no matter what parts they are now outfitted with or what they consider themselves.

PayPal and Deutsche Bank responded by killing or freezing plans for hundreds of North Carolina jobs. Bruce Springsteen and Ringo Starr cancelled concerts. Movie shoots were scrapped.

Nonetheless, more bathroom bills are popping up in other states.

Given the proclivity of certain Georgia legislators to hunt for hot buttons to push, I wouldn't be surprised to see a bathroom bill in this state, too.

Personally, I’m uncomfortable with government leaders trying to get down our pants.

Is it really important to figure out if someone walking into the women’s restroom has guy parts under their dress? Do we really need to police for Adam’s apples or expect people to walk around with their birth certificates?

See and be seen

This led me to visit with Al Woods, who stations himself five nights a week in the cramped men’s bathroom at The Tavern at Phipps in Buckhead. (The restaurant/bar boasts that it is for “the see and be-seen set.”)

The 55-year-old describes his position as “valet attendant.” He makes tip money handing paper towels to patrons and sharing his supplies of colognes (he paid $90 for one of his bottles), mints, Tums, mouthwash, gum and cigarettes. He told me he clears at least $60 a night.

Besides trading small talk, keeping the place clean and defusing fights, Woods said it isn’t unusual for someone to try to use the men’s bathroom who he knows isn’t a guy. Mostly, it’s women who don’t want to wait in long lines for their bathroom. He lets them do their business, if it isn’t going to cause a stir.

But maybe five times a month, he told me, he detects someone who is maybe transgender or a lesbian who dresses like a guy. He directs them to the other restroom.

“I run them out,” he said. “They can’t get away with anything when I’m here.”

I imagine this is humiliating for the person ousted.

Personally, I usually don’t fixate on who uses the stall or urinal next to me. Even for those who do care, sorting out who is who, isn’t easy.

“You can easily get fooled,” Woods told me.

Issues tend to get messy and lines get blurry the more we try to legislate on social issues.

In North Carolina, the governor eventually signed an executive order to back off some of the new law’s effects. But he kept in place the government bathroom stuff. He did, though, assert that “private businesses can set their own rules for their own restroom, locker room and shower facilities, free from government interference.”

Charlotte’s laws

The law is an attempt to counter Charlotte’s expansion of local anti-discrimination laws. The city’s changes didn’t apply to schools. Nor did it include the word “bathroom.” But it did grant gay, lesbian and transgender people the same protections against discrimination in public accommodations as there are based on race, age, religion and gender in Charlotte.

I read that parents were concerned that bad people – whether or not they were transgender – would try to take advantage of Charlotte’s openness and start hanging out in the wrong bathrooms or club locker rooms.

I want bathrooms to be safe, but I wanted that long before these bathroom laws became an issue. When my kids were young, we escorted them into “the facilities” or stood outside the door ready to jump in at the first hint of trouble. I imagine parents will still do the same, whether or not states add bathroom laws.

Sometimes, maybe, a little common sense is better than another government “solution.”

Dave Mattingly told me he hasn’t sorted out his own thoughts on new bathroom laws elsewhere.

The 75-year-old former Delta pilot is an owner of Eddie’s Attic. The music venue is in Decatur, a place where the word “alternative” has been part of the cityscape.

Mattingly told me there hasn’t been any bathroom controversy in his establishment.

“Our thing is bringing people together,” he said. “We don’t look for differences.”

“If you operate from a point of decency, dignity and respect for people, hey, everything works out.”