What did Mama always say before sending us off to school or the neighborhood playground? “Play nice!” It seems that many of us shed that advice upon entering the workplace.
When surveyed in March, more than 1,000 managers said that they spent, on average, 18 percent of their time handling staff conflicts, according to Accountemps, a financial and accounting staffing firm. That’s almost one day a week, and it accounts for a lot of lost productivity.
“I was initially surprised, but then I thought about all the day-to-day phone calls I get and all the situations I’m asked to deal with as a human resources consultant for many different industries,” said Elizabeth Cervantes, a human resources consultant for Corporate Business Solutions, an Atlanta-based professional employer services organization.
“Companies are operating leaner than ever before. Pay raises have been on hold, tensions are high and people are feeling unappreciated. That turns the gossip mill up to high volume and increases areas of conflict,” said Cervantes. “Many managers think they don’t have time for this nonsense. They want to turn a blind eye and hope it will go away, but it usually just escalates and things get worse.”
She recently had to step into an e-mail battle between employees that involved accusations of threats, bringing both combatants to the table. As an outsourced human resources professional, Cervantes had the skills and knowledge to mediate. Not being part of the company, she didn’t come to the situation with biases and could be objective. She also could recognize the legal issues of harassment or discrimination that could cause an employee or employer to be liable for litigation.
That’s not always the case with corporate managers. “Many times, people are promoted because they are excellent workers. They know how to do their jobs, but not how to manage people, which is a different set of skills,” said Cervantes.
“Training is one of our services, but we know that for many companies, taking the time to train seems like too big a commitment right now.”
Training is always money well spent, said Andy Decker, senior regional vice president for Robert Half International, a global specialized staffing firm.
“We offer 8,000 online courses for our employees that include training on leadership, communication and dealing with conflict. It’s a worthwhile investment for any company and an important part of employee development,” said Decker.
Teamwork is the way business runs today, and diverse teams often make for better solutions, he said, but “when you put people together to achieve a common goal, who have individual responsibilities, deadlines, passions and personalities, there are bound to be conflicts.”
Properly prepared, managers can create cultures where conflict is acknowledged and dealt with appropriately, and where consequences are understood. They’ll know when to let people work it out, and how to step in when morale or productivity is seriously affected. Rewarding positive behaviors and thanking people for how well they work together can foster others wanting to emulate those characteristics, said Decker.
Good hiring decisions can go a long way in preventing a contentious workplace.
“Instead of just looking at functional skills, hiring managers should ask candidates how they’ve helped their teams perform to get an idea about their interpersonal skills,” said Decker. “When checking references, they should ask about someone’s teamwork.”
Giving employees opportunities to get to know one another also can ease stresses.
“One thing we like to do in our company is offer social and volunteer opportunities outside of the office. When people meet each other in less formal situations, they get to know more about each other’s backgrounds, lives and passions. That can change perspectives and make them more tolerant of different working styles,” said Decker.
Stepping in to solve disagreements, managers sometimes uncover more serious issues as the root cause. An employee might have anger management issues, be going through a divorce or have a drinking problem.
“While empathetic, managers aren’t psychologists. If a company has an employee assistance program (EAP), this is the time to work through the HR department and make a strong recommendation or mandatory referral for counseling,” said Cervantes. “Too often, EAP programs are overlooked and underutilized.”
Frank Fenello, managing director for UHY Advisors GA Inc., a business consulting and services firm, said he believes creating a culture of open communication is the best deterrent for personal conflicts.
“Having regular meetings with staff keeps issues from festering,” said Fenello, who is responsible for about 40 direct and indirect reports in the Southeast. “Besides, it gives them practice working together. When people work together in good times and bad, they are more likely to work through disputes that come up.”
Being afraid to speak up because of negative consequences or not being told what is going on makes for a demoralizing culture. “It creates silos where people are defensive. They work independently and don’t share what they know,” said Fenello. “Top performers don’t want to stay in that kind of environment.”
Some of his best management skills, Fenello said, came from parenting his 5- and 6-year-old sons. He encourages them to work out their own problems and gives them positive feedback when they do so.
“If you coach your employees and empower them to solve their own problems, then you don’t have to drop what you’re doing every time a dispute arises,” he said.
When they have to step in, managers should listen objectively and not take sides, Fenello believes. Instead of offering solutions, they should help employees learn how to talk to each other and find their own answers.
“Managers learn by trial and error, but it’s incumbent on them to create the best work environment possible for their teams,” said Fenello. He’d rather coach than boss because he enjoys seeing people be successful. He’s also learned a lot from the books and classes of Aubrey Daniels, a psychologist who is often called the father of performance management, and believes in seeing the best in people.
“Most people don’t get up in the morning deciding to make you mad,” said Fenello. “It may not be about you at all. We all overlook things, make mistakes, snap and have bad days. Most of the misunderstandings go away when people talk about them.”
