On Feb. 13, 2009, amid veiled threats of termination, or worse, careful scrutinizing of past and future expense accounts, I caved to internal pressures and joined Twitter. I wasn’t sure what it was, or what it meant, or if I was now one of the cool kids, but I was told the Twitter limit was 140 characters and that meant this paragraph would’ve ended in the 23rd word and I don’t even burp in 23 words.
So this was my first Tweet at 4:23 p.m.: “Hello Twits. (Is that proper?) Just starting this so be gentle.”
Not great. Not as bad as the Twitter debut of @LaneKiffin (“Bon Jovi was awesome last night!!”). But not as good off the start line as the @CIA (“We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet”) or @TheTweetofGod (“In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. And I said, ‘Let there be text,’ and there was text” 10/21/10), or certainly @KateUpton (“I am trying to figure out how to make the background a picture of my boobs” 10/21/10)
Following Kate Upton.
But I never realized the extent Twitter had infected college football until even Mark Richt tweeted a picture of his surprise breakfast with recruit Jacob Eason in Snohomish, Wash., on Nov. 15, 2015, at a time when it was becoming more apparent that the Georgia coach might lose his job.
This is a man who once showed me the cheat notes he had written on the palm of his hand for reference and later explained, “It’s my palm pilot.” (Dated joke.)
But here was this old-school guy telling the story of his career on Tweeter.
Nov. 15: “Having breakfast in Snohomish Washington in Jakes Cafe with Jacob and Tony Eason. Go Dawgs!”
Nov. 28 (following a win over Georgia Tech): “Thank you Dawgnation for showing up in Atlanta & helping us win today!”
Dec. 4: “It’s great to be back home. It’s all about the U!”
There was a change of venue between the last two tweets.
So if we can follow somebody’s devolving/evolving career on Twitter, why not follow a season on Twitter?
@HughFreeze: Do you offer any SEC coaches’ discounts?
@Bambi96: You’re not a coach.
@NickSaban: I hope we can get better but frankly the media thinks we’re better than we really are. This Coke bottle knows more than you do. Tweet that.
@JimboFisher: 48-12. This is why I didn’t take the LSU job. We’re on to Louisiana Monroe. Unbeaten in ACC!
@KirbySmartUGA: A win’s a win. Way to keep fighting. Field goals rule. App State beat Michigan once. #Process. Go Dawgs!
@GTPaulJohnson: So we beat Tennessee. How high did y’all have their recruits ranked? Heh heh.
@GTPaulJohnson: What’d Kirby do against Tennessee last year?
@GTPaulJohnson: You know, I sa.. (aide takes away phone).
@OleMissFB: Looking forward to stating our case and clearing our good name Monday with NCAA Committee on Infractions.
@KirbySmartUGA: Congrats to our defense and Nick Chubb who ran rushed for 397 yards today at Notre Dame! 2-0. Onto Samford.
@CoachBrianKelly: Our new media policy mandated we closed practice but media reported we used a football and wore shoes. Knute couldn’t win with these leaks.
@RealDonaldTrump: I feel ya.
@OleMissFB: (Account suspended.)
@CoachDanMullen: Go NCAA! Who do we play this week?
@KirbySmartUGA: We’re 1-0 in SEC and Dan Mullen still lives in Starkville. #Winning.
@GTPaulJohnson: 5-0. Onto Miami. Not bad for a bunch of 2-stars #TogetherWeGloat
@RealDonaldTrump: I went to Wharton School. We’re great. We’re so great. People don’t believe how great we are. Best the world has ever seen. We’ll bring down fire & fury on SEC…
@SeanSpicer: Don’t look at me.
@CoachJimMcElwain: I lost to Ed Orgeron. Do I have to give back my last two SEC East titles?
@GTPaulJohnson: Can we get the Miami game moved to Athens? I like playing in Athens.
@MarkRicht: I’m 7-1. How do you like me now?
@Music City Bowl: Hello, Mark? Nice win over Toledo.
@KirbySmartUGA: I hate orange. Jacob Eason will not be available to media but we have Greyson Lambert here who’ll be happy to talk about our next game at Vandy.
@ADGregMcGarity: I’ll have a response in 90 days.
@DaboSwinney: Whatever happened to Spurrier? He used to make jokes about me but I beat Alabama and he left his last job at halftime. And sorry about the 48 points, GT
@BigDawg62: Don’t care about win over Missouri. Going to St. Simons next week and I’m not watching game.
@BigDawg62: Please Lord, let us win. I’ll quit drinking. I’ll be nice to my wife. I’ll feed the homeless. Just let us kill the Gators.
@TweetOfGod: I need to start writing stuff down.
@BigDawg62: DRINKS ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@BigDawg62: Hey @HughFreeze you got @Bambi96’s number?!!!
@KirbySmartUGA: Another hard fought win today over South Carolina. Braves would love to win 9-6. #Process #8-1 #GoDawgs #Richt’s7-2
@KirbySmartUGA: On the way to Auburn. One team. One conference. One goal.
@KirbySmartUGA: No questions on Jim Chaney. We’re onto Kentucky #Process #BelkBowl
@KirbySmartUGA: OMG! Florida lost at South Carolina! GO DAWGS!
@CoachWillMuschamp: You’re welcome.
@GTPaulJohnson: Soft conference.
@KirbySmartUGA: If we beat Kentucky, we win East!
@GTPaulJohnson: We’re 8-2 but nobody’s talking about our game against Duke this week. #TogetherWeSwarm #OverHere #DamntWe’reSwarmingOverHere!
@KirbySmartUGA: 37-6! Go Dawgs! Onto the SEC championship!
@NickSaban: So cute.
@GTPaulJohnson: I’m standing right here. #THWG
@KirbySmartUGA: 9-2 vs. 9-2. It’s our turn now! We own this state!
@HughFreeze: They’re cheating. Everybody’s cheating. Fine, I did it!
@KirbySmartUGA: 27-26! Go Dawgs. Onto Alabama!
@NickSaban: I love to see my assistants do well. Then I squeeze every ounce of hope out of their souls.
@NickSaban: A battle of Nicks.
@KirbySmartUGA: Breathing. Breathing. Breathing.
@NickSaban: Bow to me.
@MunsonInHeaven: We’ve got no chance. No chance.
@KirbySmartUGA: 35-32. SEC champs! I can’t believe it’s real!
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