No one can say for sure what might have happened to Rachel Mosby had she not found her way two years ago to SOJOURN, or the Southern Jewish Resource Network for Gender & Sexual Diversity.
Not even Mosby herself.
The 53-year-old won’t even venture a guess now, but this much is certain: Being a transgender woman comes with its own set of issues and had she not been able to summon the courage to finally share her truth with a friend back then her life would likely look a whole lot different.
Credit: John Bazemore
Credit: John Bazemore
It was September 2019 and Mosby by that time was homeless, sleeping in her car and wondering what had come of the life she’d created before coming out to her family, before making the leap “to publicly transition from the way the world” perceived her.
“For most of my life, I chose for the world to perceive me as a man,” she said. “I decided to change that.”
On the phone that day with a friend, Mosby finally admitted her life was spiraling out of control. On Feb. 25, 2019, she had been badly injured in a car accident while at work. On June 1, 2019, she was terminated from her position as fire chief of the Byron Fire Department, where she had worked for more than a decade. She then lost her home. Although no longer able to work because of her injuries, she had been denied both unemployment and worker’s comp benefits.
“I had no income and no ability to get income,” Mosby recalled recently. “It put me in a weird void that I’m still stuck in.”
Her friend assured her that day that someone from SOJOURN would be calling.
The next time Mosby’s phone rang. Rebecca Stapel-Wax, SOJOURN’s executive director, was on the other end.
Within days, Mosby had a basement apartment and then a choice of six different places to stay long term.
She chose a home in Decatur.
Two years later, she not only has a place to call home, Mosby said she has “gained friendships that I never would’ve had and I learned a big life lesson — help and generosity often comes from the most unlikely places.”
And this: “Rebecca is able to cut through the bureaucracy and make things happen,” Mosby said. “She’s a wizard.”
Given the myriad issues Mosby and other members of the LGBTQ community face, that’s a good thing except for one fact — discrimination is a relentless and punishing enemy. In their personal lives. In the workplace. In public spaces like schools. In their ability to access critical health care.
Just in the past year, one in three LGBTQ people reported experiencing discrimination, according to the Center for American Progress.
Forty-one percent of people who are transgender like Mosby have attempted suicide because of the discrimination and isolation they experience.
In another setback for Mosby, a federal judge in February dismissed a discrimination lawsuit against Byron in which Mosby claimed she was fired based not on poor job performance but rather her sex, gender identity and notions of sex stereotypying. Her attorney has since appealed the decision.
According to the Center for American progress, 15% of LGBTQ Americans report postponing or avoiding medical care due to discrimination, including nearly 3 in 10 transgender individuals. Sixteen percent avoided preventative screenings for that same reason.
Credit: Courtesy of Georgia Voice
Credit: Courtesy of Georgia Voice
Stapel-Wax, who along with Legal Aid attorney MK Anderson from Legal Aid was guest speaker at an online forum hosted by the conversational salon Say-So recently, came to this work in 2004, after spending 15 years working with people with diverse intellectual and cognitive abilities.
At the time, she was dealing with her own conflicts associated with being a lesbian.
“When I came out, I had to choose between my religion and the person I loved,” Stapel-Wax remembered. “That’s when I knew I needed to help others not have to choose between their faith and who they were or who they loved, too.”
In 2004, Stapel-Wax left her job to be the director of The Rainbow Center, now SOJOURN. Last year the non-profit served more than 1,500 a year through 58 different programs, including 18 that were in collaboration with other organizations and partners.
While there is much to celebrate by the LGBTQ community — support for the freedom to marry has risen substantially, gay men and lesbians can now serve openly in the military and more than 50% of LBGTQ Americans live in states where they are protected from employment discrimination — Stapel-Wax said there is still much to be desired.
That’s especially true when it comes to access to health care, job opportunities, and the stigma still associated with identifying as gay, lesbian, queer or transgender.
Because a lot of people get their health care through employment, Stapel-Wax said that they often lack access to good medical care because they are either unemployed or under-employed.
“And when they do have health insurance, they don’t have access to a practitioner who is sensitive to their needs,” she said.
Stapel-Wax said, for instance, she has gone to doctors who have only two gender options on their intake forms.
That’s not all.
She said that people often experience a “built-in shame” from going to the doctor because when they go, the doctor doesn’t see them for who they are.
“They stop going because they don’t want to have that experience or trauma over and over again,” she said. “When you don’t have access or do have access but you don’t continue to go back to the doctor, people’s health declines.”
In addition to lack of health care and stigma, Stapel-Wax said that substance abuse becomes an issue because of the stress of not having support in their lives.
Although October is when the LGBTQ community in Atlanta celebrates its history, this year’s recognition promises to be somewhat muted due to the coronavirus pandemic limiting in-person events. The Atlanta Pride Festival and Parade scheduled for October 9-10 has been canceled this year due to the growth of COVID-19 cases.
Still sharing her story with groups like Say-So, Stapel-Wax said is an opportunity to not only increase understanding of the LBGTQ community, but to illuminate the issues they face and encourage advocacy on its behalf.
“Just like when I went into the doctor’s office and spoke up when I saw that the form did not include everyone,” she said. “I asked that in addition to male and female, they include transgender, intersex, and other. Now it does. Say-So members can do the same.
The added benefit is, she said, they are active citizens who have neighbors and loved one, employees and coworkers who they can educate and influence to do the same.
“Moving forward they will walk away with information that they had not known before, that they integrate into their daily lives and they have new conversations with people and share their new knowledge.”
In that way, she hopes that if nothing else stories like Mosby’s and even hers will help change people’s perspective.
“When you have people recognizing all kinds of life experiences, we are able to help people feel like they belong,” she said.
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