He said he has found happiness. He said he has found “balance.” He said his life is better since he has had kids and referred to it as “a beautiful juggling act.” Tiger Woods probably was one glowing comment about the meatloaf away from clinching Man of the Year honors Tuesday.
Feel better? Still want to believe in the “good” Tiger, the wiser Tiger, the maturing Grasshopper of all Tigers?
Here’s more manna for your soul: “Life is all about having a balance, and trying to find equilibrium and not getting things one way or the other. I feel very balanced.”
Funny thing about scales. If you adjust them just right, they can always seem balanced.
Two weeks ago, Nike unveiled a new advertising campaign that perfectly exploited Woods’ return to the top of the world golf rankings: “Winning Takes Care of Everything.”
The words caused a meltdown in the world of social media, which is all that really matters anymore because Twitter has become the conscience of America.
Woods obviously signed off on the ad, but he wasn’t in apology mode Tuesday, nor should anybody have expected him to be. “I’ve said that since the beginning of my career. That’s something you asked me about: What does it take to become No. 1, player of the year, money title and all that? That was an old quote that Nike put out there and people jumped on it, but that’s something I’ve said since I’ve first turned pro.”
Let me translate: “Go away now, you insignificant little beings.”
There’s a difference between embarrassment and humility. Embarrassment causes one to go underground, huddle with advisers and set a strategy for a comeback. Humility forces one to actually look in the mirror, assess values and change.
If you ever believed Tiger Woods was humbled as opposed to humiliated, the joke’s on you.
The ad campaign merely reflects what we’ve long known about Woods and, sadly, many highly successful people. They have their own views of balance, their own unique set of priorities.
Understand, I’m not absolving Woods for stomping on everybody’s compass. What he did to his wife, his children, his mother, his friends, the people he lied to, the neighbor whose 21-year-old daughter he fooled around with — it all conveys moral bankruptcy. (Also, not the highest degree of intelligence. Tiger Woods cheats with porn stars. Sure, they’ll never talk. Dolt.) But that same incredible ego and arrogance that led to his philandering also drove him to become arguably the greatest golfer we’ve ever seen. There was no reason to expect that would go away.
Ego and arrogance — that’s bread and water for Woods. They make him go. He is not the type to stand up at a 12-step meeting and pronounce, “I’m Eldrick, and I am flawed.” He is far more likely to practice sound bites with a media coach before sprinkling them through a news conference.
Tiger Woods is a golfer, a great golfer. Let’s leave it at that.
Winning is his only salvation. He is not going to be saved in a house of worship or by begging us for his forgiveness.
Tiger Woods doesn’t care about you or your values. He cares about victories and majors and money.
Don’t like it? Root for Tom Watson.
Woods has played in five tournaments this season; he has won three of them. He is the overwhelming favorite at this week’s Masters. He is back to No. 1 in the world after falling to as low as No. 58 in November 2011 and still at No. 25 in early 2012 — the rough equivalent of having your tournaments scouted by the Liberty Bowl.
Winning doesn’t take care of everything, but it certainly fixes what matters most to Woods and changes the talking points: Nobody in Tuesday’s pre-Masters news conference asked him about his mangled Escalade, his marriage or any of the former mangled mistresses who swam through a cesspool to hire Gloria Allred.
Woods has won 14 majors. He needs four to tie Jack Nicklaus, five to break the record. If he gets there, talent, ego and arrogance will be holding hands and singing Kumbaya.
“I feel comfortable with every aspect of my game,” he said.
That’s what matters most to the man. That’s his happiness, his balance. If you were hoping for something more, you’re looking in the wrong direction.
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