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There is no shame in being single on Valentine’s Day

Being dateless Thursday is not a condemnation of your worth as a person or a reflection of your desirability

Fast facts about Valentine's day .The first valentine was sent in the 15th century.145 million greeting cards are exchanged every year for Valentine’s Day.About 20 percent of pet owners give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.Lovebirds are actual birds.Teachers are the number one recipient of Valentines

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Some think Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday, while others would like to see it banned from the calendar. Many people who are alone would rather ignore the whole thing. But that’s almost impossible. You can’t even go into a pet store without seeing something with Cupid on it.

Wherever you are in life, Feb. 14 can conjure up all kinds of feelings.

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a condemnation of your worth as a person or a reflection of your desirability — maybe the timing is just off this year. Or being on your own may be your choice, and you’re generally doing well.

Whatever the circumstances, Valentine’s Day can be triggering, and you may need to create ways to make it a good day for yourself if you find yourself without a date.

There are many articles and blogs on how to celebrate being single, yet coping may not come easily. For instance, you really can’t ignore it when your friends are going to a party you weren’t invited to. That being the case, millions of people make up their own celebrations rather than try to ignore St. Valentine.

Women do seem to be better at this than men. A guy on his own will usually make it through the evening with a game on TV, but the single women I know have more fun. Some go out as a group and whoop it up around town, going to dinner and enjoying the festivities. Others go to girls-only parties. There are endless possibilities.

If you’re completely on your own, I would advise planning some entertainment. Maybe watch a movie you wouldn’t typically watch with a partner or treat yourself to a spa. Be nice to yourself. Valentine’s Day may also inspire you to take that scary step of going online or saying yes to being introduced to your friend’s cousin.

We all make decisions every day. By making the decision you are going to, at the very least, be content on Valentine’s Day, you have just relieved yourself of a great burden. You don’t have to look for ways or reasons to feel bad. And yes, it is a choice you can make.

There is no shame in being alone on Valentine’s or on any other day. Knowing you would rather be with the right person than with someone who is a placeholder will help you make sense of your current relationship status.

Remember that false love is more painful than no love. And don’t settle for less than you deserve.

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide. Reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com

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