Sometimes you need a little help from your friends to solve life’s problems

Talking about our problems can feel a bit like a trip to the dentist. You know the discomfort will stop once you get the tooth fixed, but you don’t want to go through the process to begin with, because it hurts. With emotional issues, you might also be embarrassed about sharing what’s really going on.

Talking with a good friend, intimate other or even a professional, however, might help you get the nonjudgmental emotional support you need to see things through. All you need to do is open up about what’s going on.

There is no magic bullet to make all our problems disappear. No quick fix or Pollyanna affirmation is going to change everything for the better. The truth is that making positive life changes is often hard work. Learning and believing you have the power to resolve your own issues can make a big difference, as can the insights of a good professional advisor.

No one can take away all your troubles, but talking about them can help shed light on how to get through them. That’s how therapy works. Sharing your problem with another person will lighten your burden, and a professional might also be able to provide some good suggestions as well as the emotional support you need to face what’s in front of you.

You also may find that brainstorming with a friend or even a group of people will help you find new ideas to help you move forward. When you know others have your back, the emotional support can make all the difference. Getting a 360-degree view is impossible when you are in the middle of a dilemma. Talking things over with your mate or a trusted friend can give you some much-needed perspective.

You may want to try dictating your problem while the other person takes notes. Seeing it in writing and getting feedback can give you greater clarity. You may be able to develop a checklist to use later as you work on resolving the issue. As you return to the list, you will see where you have accomplished some goals and where you can add new ones.

Everyone encounters problems. Sometimes we make them bigger than they need to be, and sometimes we choose not to look at them. Be sure to keep your head out of the sand to see what’s going on around you. Ignoring your problems will get you nowhere.

Remember, too, that not every problem has to be solved. Some problems resolve themselves, and others just go away. Having patience helps. All you have to do is trust others to help you through.

Barton Goldsmith is a licensed psychotherapist, and an award-wining writer and humanitarian. He is the author of eight books and speaks to audiences all over the world. He works with individuals and couples via video or in person, and can be reached at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.