German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “That which does not kill you only makes you stronger.”
Unfortunately, he missed the part about post-traumatic stress disorder, and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had a trauma experience of one kind or another. It’s important to gain a skillset that will help you help yourself out of the trauma space and back into real life.
Here are a few pieces of advice you can follow.
You don’t need to do this alone. Professional counseling is highly recommended. A mental health professional who specializes in trauma can provide individualized support in a safe space, with evidence-based therapy. Being alone in your fear and pain is a very hard and sad place to be. Reach out.
Self-care includes mental health. Watch what you feed yourself, nutritionally and emotionally. Food affects mood. Make sure you are eating nutrient-dense food and reducing caffeine, alcohol and sugar, all of which can increase anxiety. Social media and the mass media can retraumatize. Be mindful of what you are giving your attention to. Video clips and controversial postings can be triggering.
Rely on your social network. Surround yourself with caring friends and family who are empathic and supportive. Lean on your BFFs and let them know why. At the same time, reduce or eliminate unhealthy relationships and triggering situations. It may sound impossible, so just start with the easy ones.
Make exercise your friend (unless it is trauma-related). Exercising can improve your mood and release anxiety. Embrace nature. Get some sun, air, go to the beach or for a walk in the park. This will ground you and keep you centered. If you just walk around the block for 30 minutes, it will lift your mood. Try it.
Develop coping strategies. Journal your process. Practice deep breathing. Meditation, mindfulness and progressive muscle relaxation are also options. Develop a routine incorporating these strategies. This will allow you to manage stress and reduce anxiety-related trauma. Routines provide structure and a sense of control.
Consider a support group. It can be validating and healing to realize you are not alone. In-person as well as online groups are available to address specific traumas and demographics. Just Google “support groups” and dozens will come up, and many are also done on Zoom, so it doesn’t matter where you are. Don’t limit yourself.
Be realistic. Realistic goals are necessary for recovery. Celebrating small achievements and victories can build confidence and make your healing feel manageable and palpable. I believe in reaching for the stars, but only if you’re feeling good right where you are.
Practice self-compassion. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. Be gentle and allow room for setbacks, because they’ll happen. The path forward is never a straight line. Remember your trauma is not your fault. Avoid blaming yourself, and be as self-caring as possible during this healing time.
Discover creative outlets. Find ways to express your emotions through art, music, dance or writing. Being able to identify and express your emotions will facilitate healing by allowing the release of intense emotions. Creativity in one area spills over into all areas of your life if you encourage it in yourself.
Create and enforce healthy boundaries. Self-protection is important both for healing and maintaining your recovery. It will allow you the space necessary to heal, as well as protect you from triggering or retraumatizing relationships and events. Get better at saying no. If something doesn’t feel right, you are better off doing something else.
Take this advice whether you think you have it together or feel faint of heart and don’t know where to turn. We all deserve to live life without looking over our shoulders or carrying around a broken heart, which will just weigh you down.
This column was co-authored by Tracie Tyler, MA, LMFT.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide; reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com
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