Diving into a new romance can cause a whirlwind of emotions, but before you go making it Instagram official, it’s wise to keep an eye out for potential “yellow flags” — those subtle warning signs that might make you go “hmmm.”
“While (yellow flags) might not be deal breakers or major issues, they are generally warning signs that the behavior, tendency, pattern, or trait could turn into a larger issue, hint at something bigger, or at the very least be worth having a discussion about and exploring further,” Jillian Amodio, social worker and founder of Moms For Mental Health, said to Verywell Mind.
Here are 5 signs that warrant a closer look.
Superglue syndrome
If your new potential partner wants to spend every waking moment with you from the get-go, it could be a sign of unhealthy dependence. While the intensity may seem flattering, it can lead to an unbalanced dynamic where boundaries are blurred.
Poor listening skills
Pay attention to how much your date talks about themself versus asking about you. “A healthy relationship requires both partners to be willing to listen and work together,” Amodio said.
Lack of outside interests
A well-rounded individual typically has hobbies and friendships outside the relationship. Be wary if your date’s life seems to revolve solely around you.
Difficulty expressing emotions
Opening up takes time, but consistent trouble sharing feelings could indicate emotional unavailability. Create a safe space for vulnerability, but don’t force it.
“If you feel they are too shutdown, share with them that you would like to know more about their inner world,” Dr. Sarah Schewitz, psychologist and founder of Couples Learn, told Bustle. “Ask questions to make it easier for them to share. Get curious about why they don’t talk about emotions and try to create a safe, non-judgemental space to draw them out.”
The ex factor
This isn’t always problematic, but tread carefully. “Being friends with an ex can be a sign that they are a mature individual with the ability to recognize that their ex is a good person who just wasn’t the right fit for them.” advised Schewitz. “However, keeping in touch with an ex can also be a sign that they have poor boundaries or that they have unfinished business with their ex.”
If you’re unsure, discuss the situation. If they become defensive, you might be seeing a red flag.
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