I once knew a mischievous lad who owned a used car lot. I once asked how he made the decision to discount a model that wasn’t selling and his answer surprised me. That four-wheeled shaggy dog would get a price increase, on the theory that consumers give greater regard to the higher price.
This flew in the face of the dialectic that what won’t sell for $5 might sell for $3. The price of something and the value of something are twin sons of different mothers. And then there is the rapture of just being handed something; the treasured freebie.
I once stood in a department store housewares area and listened to a 15-minute pitch for what the salesman averred was the greatest cutlery known to man. Those of us in the crowd endured the pitch because we got a free paring knife guaranteed never to lose its edge — just for our time! The knife has since been busted to letter opener, but it was free.
On a grander scale, getting something for nothing is a scam that has raked in fortunes for the hucksters over the centuries. Then again, we get that free lunch — like a huge lottery windfall or inherited wealth — and it doesn’t last. We didn’t earn the money, ergo we don’t appreciate it and we spend like besotted sailors until it is gone.
So some days we pass on a free offer and more’s the pity. Our city is offering two programs that cost nothing but have some solid value. Today one can take their unused prescription medications to the police station, where they will be gathered and properly disposed of.
And the Chattahoochee River 9-1-1 Authority (ChatComm), serving the cities of Sandy Springs and Johns Creek, is offering Springsteens the option to enter information online that would be delivered automatically to a 911 operator if we need emergency attention.
There are no service fees attached to either of the above, which causes me to wonder whether they will be taken advantage of in great numbers. Then again the lyrists tell us the best things in life are free. Our elders remind us money cannot purchase happiness, which means that must be free as well.
By the way, while we seem to be a people that value wealth, when we love our job we say we would do it for free. But a job we hated? They couldn’t pay us enough! Wanna bet?
So what do we do about these free entreaties to rid ourselves of those old prescription medicines and make it easier, if need be, for emergency personnel to save our lives? Speaking only for me, I’m all in on these freebies, before someone in authority starts seeing dollar signs.
Before we put a coda on this, let us revisit our used car salesman. He was also known to “clean” dingy floor mats by giving them the once-over with black spray paint. I guess even if the advice is free, well, caveat emptor.
Jim Osterman lives in Sandy Springs. Reach him at jimosterman@rocketmail.com.
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