Va. Tech band comes to Ga. to remember Ryan Clark

His mother said it would have been just like her son to rush to someone’s aid, because that’s the kind of person he was.

He had been a committed volunteer at food banks, health clinics and at a summer camp for special needs children. Healing from losing Ryan has been difficult.

The “Hokies” band came to play for the season football opener of Ryan’s alma mater, Lakeside High School. Ryan had been a member of both bands, and the performance was in his honor. Here, Letitie Clark talks about volunteering, parenting and searching for peace.

Q: Ryan played baritone in the Virginia Tech band, so this is pretty big. How did you get the entire band to agree to come?

A: Patricia Weatherman who is president of the area Hokies alumni association and a few of the alumni associates came to me and said they just wanted to do something to honor one of their own, to give back to the community, which Ryan has always done. That Virginia Tech was playing Alabama in Atlanta [this] weekend also was a blessing. It just goes to show what a community can do when they put their minds to something.

Q: There are a couple of scholarships already in Ryan’s name, right?

A: Yes, there are several scholarships out there [named for him] but the Ryan Clark Community Service Award and Scholarship Fund was actually given for the first time this year on May 15. It’s given to a Richmond or Columbia County child, to use toward college, a child who exemplifies what Ryan stood for and that’s serving your community, wherever you may live. Your community becomes your family and you have to put yourself in it. And that’s through volunteering and serving and giving of yourself.

Q: How is it that a kid can maintain a 4.0 into and throughout his senior year with a triple major — psychology, biology and English — which Ryan did? That’s impressive.

A: Ryan was determined. But it wasn’t just about a 4.0, it wasn’t just about degrees, it was about living your life and doing what you want to do. You can accomplish most anything just by being disciplined. I’ve always raised my children that anything you want to do I will support you, just do it to the best of your ability. That’s what makes me proud.

Q: A lot of kids don’t make time to volunteer or they do it so it will look good when they are applying for college.

A: It starts when they’re very young. My children were always encouraged to volunteer and I didn’t just send them. They were always with me or with an aunt. You have to do it alongside them because they need to learn that volunteering is not work, it’s more giving to yourself than to the person you think you’re helping because you learn and your heart opens up.

Q: Ryan was awarded his degrees posthumously in 2007. Did you go to the graduation ceremony to receive them?

A: I did. We traveled as a family.

Q: That must have been an unbearable journey.

A: The emotion was one of pride, one of love and one of pain, because I really would have wanted my child to pick up his own diplomas.

Q: Have you been back to the campus since then?

A: I was there this past June. Some of the [Virginia Tech] band members got together and built a house [there in Blacksburg], and it was given to a young lady and her daughter. It was called “Structurally Sound,” and they dedicated it to Ryan. I went and that was a beautiful event.

Q: There’s a memorial in Blacksburg dedicated to all of the victims of the shooting. You’ve visited that I’m sure, but have you gone back to the dorm where he lived?

A: I’ve done them all. I’ve gone to the memorial and back to the dorm [where he was killed] and the experience itself was painful but healing. I know that my son’s soul is there at Virginia Tech. He loved the school, he loved being there. It was part of him and he was part of it. And to know that you have peace in your heart because you gave your child something that fit him like a glove. I have peace in my heart for that.

Q: Sometimes, when a tragedy beyond measure happens, survivors and loved ones dedicate themselves to a related cause. You became very active in the successful effort to get the Brady gun control law strengthened, in particular the background check provisions.

A: With the tragedy of Virginia Tech — (pauses) I’m sorry, I have to take a breath — came an opening of my eyes to some of the things that are needed. So I became involved with the Brady campaign. It’s sad that through tragedy, this is the way you get something to happen. And anything that I can do to help another person not go through the sort of heartache that’s in my heart today, I am willing to do.

Q: Are you still angry or have you reached a place of peace?

A: I have never been angry. I don’t know if I’ll get there and I’m not saying I won’t. I’m just saying I’ve never experienced the anger part. What I do have is a heart that has a wound in it. Through my community and loved ones and family I’m coping. And I pray that I continue to cope.

Q: How are Ryan’s twin brother and older sister?

A: They’re each coping with their hearts the way they need to.

Q: Do you remember the first time you were able to laugh or feel happy without any guilt after Ryan’s death?

A: (voice breaks) I’m still working on it.

Q: What would Ryan say about the Hokies on that little football field in Evans?

A: He’d just smile.