Information: 770-642-3665 or rchisolmseymour@yahoo.com.
Robin Chisolm-Seymour understands if you can’t seem to get over the death of your pet. She has loved and mourned many animals in her life.
“We lost our Corgi back in October and I am still grieving,” said Chisolm-Seymour, who shares a five-acre Alpharetta farm with her husband, two cats, two horses and a dog.
Chisolm-Seymour also runs a pet loss support group at BluePearl-Georgia Veterinary Specialists in Sandy Springs. Having spent more than 30 years in the mental health field, she offered insight into how losing a pet can be as devastating, sometimes more so, than losing a person and why a support group is a good place to address those feelings. The support group meets weekly and is free to the public.
Q: How did the group get started?
A: I am a vet wannabe but in my day women weren’t often veterinarians and I went into the field of psychology. I had taken my dog to GVS and the marketing director came up and asked if I wanted a drink of water. We ended up talking. When she heard of my background, she told me that they were interested in starting this group. It has been meeting for six years.
Q: What kind of pets do most people who come to the group lose?
A: Cats and dogs mostly. But there are online pet bereavement chat rooms where people are also grieving other kinds of pets.
Q: Why is the group needed?
A: The feeling of grief that comes with losing a pet is very, very real. If people are not pet lovers, they don’t get it. The reason people like to coming to the group is, no matter how different they may be on the outside, they are on a level playing field when they walk into that room. No one thinks that they are overreacting or that they have to suck it up or rush out and get another pet.
Q: What do people talk about?
A: Many times they will come to group and say, “I feel guilty because I feel more grief with the loss of my pet than when my parents or my sibling passed away.” We discuss the feeling of guilt, which is a part of grieving no matter what kind of loss you experience. We focus in on the relationship that the individual has had with their pet and how that relationship is different from their human loved one. We talk about how you don’t have to compare one kind of loss to another.
Q: How is the relationship between a pet and a human different?
A: Your pet is dependent on you and loves you unconditionally. There is no baggage or disagreements or other facets that come into play.
Q: How deep is the depression that follows pet loss?
A: It varies from individual to individual. On one end of the continuum, some people cannot function. They can’t eat. They can’t sleep. At the other end, there are people who feel grief but are able to manage.
Q: Are people reluctant to get another pet?
A: Generally, pets don’t live as long as we do. That is part of the package. What I try to do is focus on the gifts that pets bring. In my case, all the plusses far outweigh the grief that comes with losing them. I tell people that the degree of their pain is in direct proportion to the love they share with their pet.
Q: How long do people come to the group?
A: It ranges from once to over a year. The beauty of the group is to be able to share. The newer members have an opportunity to learn from others who are farther down the road.
Q: What have you learned?
A: Where do I start? I certainly have learned that there is a definite need to support people who have lost pets. I have learned how people grieve in different ways. I have learned that one of the best ways to heal is to give back in some way.
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